


Falling Apart, Falling Together

by writer1



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Dark Magic, Friendship, Jealousy, Love Triangles, M/M, Manipulation, Mentions of Suicide, Minor Character Death, Post-Break Up, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Isabelle Lightwood, Protective Jace Wayland, Protective Magnus Bane, Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-09-09 22:40:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 32,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8915809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writer1/pseuds/writer1
Summary: A different take on how the break-up might have gone if there wasn't a war and there were another possible love interest involved.





	1. Coping

**Author's Note:**

> Did a bit of light editing and thought I would re-post this. Sharing with the world!!
> 
> So this is my first fic. I did it all at once before posting because I hate to read something that I cannot finish. Have been reading everyone else's wonderful work on here for some time and thought I might give it a go myself. Comments are appreciated. I own nothing but love everything. Thank you! I know it seems long but I promise, it's worth the read.

Alec POV

The pain was too much. It had been a week since Magnus had said goodbye. The first few hours it was disbelief. It was as if he were in a trance as he walked to the loft, opened the door, collected his belongings and left his key. He had thought his heart was broken then, he hadn’t anticipated every day after. Mindless hours were spent looking at his phone, hoping he would text. Sleep only brought dreams, the sweet beautiful kind with dark glittery hair and glowing yellow eyes. The dreams made him cry and shadowhunters didn’t cry. So instead of sleeping he went on patrol. 

The second week wasn’t much better. He’d gotten used to the dull pain in his stomach. It replaced his hunger. The thought of food only made him sick. It was toward the end of this week that Izzy made a comment about his appearance. That night, he looked in the mirror and saw the dark circles under his eyes and how his clothes now hung from a thinner, more slender form than before. He couldn’t find it in him to really care and continued on. 

It was two days into his third week that, while on patrol, his body finally gave out on him. While Jace and Izzy fought off their demons, he notched his bow and let loose a round of arrows taking out two at once but one slipped past, swinging its tail around knocking him to the ground. He tucked into a roll and turned to stand just as stars danced in front of his vision and he collapsed. The demon lunged forward, tail ready to strike when Jace ran it through with his seraph blade. The ashes fell next to Alec but he didn’t move to get up. It was several minutes before he came to and realized that Jace and Izzy had been calling his name for some time, both obviously worried.

“I’m fine.” He said slowly sitting up.

“Like hell you are, Alec you _passed out! _You can’t keep doing this to yourself, it isn’t safe.” Izzy argued helping him stand.__

Jace stood by silently, which was not like him at all, then moved to take Izzy’s arm making her go silent. Alec was grateful for the temporary reprieve while they slowly walked back to the institute and once inside, he made a beeline to his room. Just as he was going to shut the door behind him Jace stuck his foot out to stop it.

“We should talk.” 

Alec paused a second with the hope that Jace would change his mind and go away but knew it was too good to be true and let him in. He went over and flopped down on the bed in complete exhaustion while Jace stood staring down at him. 

“I’m sorry you’re hurting.” 

At his words Alec opened his eyes in surprise. This wasn’t what he was expecting from his parabatai but he managed a response, the same response he’d been repeating for weeks. “I’m fine.” 

“I know it doesn’t seem like it but it will get easier.” Jace continued speaking as if Alec had never responded. “We worry about you Alec. You’re not eating or sleeping and your body can only take so much punishment. I’ve seen the bruises and cuts on you. You aren’t applying an iratze after patrol.” When Alec didn’t respond he glared at his parabatai. “If you don’t take care of yourself you’ll get seriously injured and I’ll have no choice but to call Magnus.” 

“No one is to call him.” Alec barked from the bed sitting up on his elbows. 

“You know Magnus wouldn’t want you to do this. He would want you to take care of yourself.” 

Something inside Alec snapped and he laughed a deep, painful laugh. “Yeah, because he’s shown just how much he gives a damn about me hasn’t he?” He rolled off the bed slowly so the room didn’t begin to spin and reached for a towel on his way to the bathroom. “Get out of my room Jace.” 

Shutting the door behind him he leaned against it and let out a deep breath. Hearing Magnus’ name aloud made Alec’s chest feel like someone was ripping it open with their bare hands. He couldn’t breathe. Sliding down he sat in the floor and held his chest squeezing the skin over his heart tightly, willing it to stop aching. No one came to check on him. This is the most alone he’d ever felt. No one needed him. Jace had Clary. Isabelle had Simon. Magnus didn’t want him. There was nothing else for him here. He sat there on the cold floor the whole night and when the first rays of sunlight came through the blinds hitting his face, he’d made a decision.


	2. Getting Help

Alec POV

He’d gotten Catarina’s number while he and Magnus were together but had never had a reason to call her, not until now. He only hesitated a moment before pressing the call button. Yes, she was one of Magnus’ good friends but that only made her more reliable and willing to do what he needed her to. She answered after the third ring and agreed to meet him at the park. 

“Alexander Lightwood, I’m surprised to hear from you. Does the Clave have a job for me?” She asked and sat next to him on the wooden bench. 

“Not the Clave. I’ve asked you hear myself.” 

“I see. You’re hear about Magnus.” Her eyes were sad but she waited to hear what he had to say.

For several moments he sat in silence then finally shook his head. “No. This is about me. I need you to do something for me.” He looked up at her with wet eyes. “I’ve decided I can’t be here anymore.” He paused trying to find a way to make her understand.

“What do you mean Alec?” 

“I…I can’t be here. I have nothing here and it hurts too much. It feels like there’s a cloud consuming my chest that’s always on fire” he put a shaking hand over his heart…”it won’t stop burning.” 

Catarina laid her hand over his and squeezed gently. “Alec, I can heal just about anything physically wrong with the body, but I cannot heal a broken heart. That is something only time can heal.”

Alec shook his head again and removed his had from hers. “No, I don’t want you to heal me. Quite the opposite actually.”

Catarina’s eyes became dark as the young shadowhunter told her what he wanted.


	3. Gone

Magnus POV

Magnus’ phone buzzed loudly. He sat there staring at it bounce over the table until it got to the edge and he finally reached to catch it before it fell. It was his weekly report from Jace. Even though he’d taken a leave from his duties as High Warlock he’d still gotten news from the institute but this text wasn’t about work. It was about Alec. 

The first week was a detail on how Alec had locked himself in his room and refused to eat followed by how much Jace wanted to kill Magnus but couldn’t because Alec would never forgive him. The second week told how much of an ass Magnus was for letting go of the best thing to ever happen to him, how Isabelle was going to cripple him for hurting her brother and finally how Alec wasn’t sleeping. 

He was sure that the texts Jace was sending him were purposely meant to hurt him but truthfully, he was thankful for the little jerks reports. He needed to know that Alec was coping. He needed to know that he was moving on. He was the biggest hypocrite for telling Alec it wouldn’t work between them when all he could think about was how much he wanted Alec back, what he would say, how he would promise to try whatever it took. All for his Alexander. 

Magnus himself felt as if his life had suddenly become a cruel joke. Everything seemed to remind him of Alec. Reaching across his bed only to find it empty, the smell of coffee brewing in the morning, even the now empty section in his closet that once held Alec’s hunting gear and clothes was equivalent to the gaping hole in his heart. It was killing him staying away when all he wanted to do was be near him. 

It was the third week’s text that almost had him making a portal to the institute when Jace relayed the moment Alec’s body had given in and he’d collapsed. The only thing stopping him was Jace saying Magnus was lucky Alec was okay or he would be one dead warlock. That text came in yesterday evening, so getting another one today was a bit unusual.

Checking his phone he frowned, then he sat up and frowned again. _“Warlock, we have a problem. I’ll be over in five.” _The text read.__

This is not how he wanted to spend his day, dealing with mouthy Nephilim. He contemplated leaving before Jace arrived but something told him to stay put, just in case. True to his word Jace buzzed to be let in shortly after and grudgingly, Magnus let him up. 

“This had better be good.” Magnus groaned pulling his bunny slippers over his chilled feet. He felt no need to change out of his grey joggers and t-shirt to impress anyone, least of all the Nephilim. 

“Alec is missing.” 

Magnus did a double take just to make sure this wasn’t a joke but Jace’s tone held no mirth. “What do you mean missing?” He asked sitting up.

“He wasn’t in the institute this morning and hasn’t come back. He never leaves without telling anyone where he’s going and I know for a fact that he doesn’t have the energy to do much alone.”

“Have you tried tracking him?” Magnus asked gesturing to the parabatai rune he knew was on Jace’s arm. 

In response Jace rolled his sleeve up and exposed the normally dark, prominent rune which was now just a pale shadow. “It’s almost gone.” Jace’s panicked eyes met Magnus’ wide gold ones. “Magnus, I can’t feel him anymore. I can’t feel _anything.” ___

Magnus walked over to Jace and ran his hand over the rune, blue sparks penetrating the skin. “Something is blocking it. A spell maybe or another rune.” He tilted his head in thought.

Jace grabbed his arm tightly causing Magnus to meet his eyes. “You track him.” At Magnus’ raised eyebrow he loosened his grip on his arm. “Didn’t you once say to me that warlock tracking is stronger?”

“Fine. I suppose I was right about that.” He agreed and with a sigh reached down to grab a blue scarf from the table in front of him. Gently he held it in his hands and raised it up to his face to inhale the scent before closing his eyes. After several attempts with no results his heart began to race. “I’m not getting anything. Something’s blocking me. It has to be magic.” 

“This is good.” Jace mused to himself standing on the balls of his feet, his own mind working rapidly.

“Yes and no.” Magnus replied, his shoulders slumped.

“What the hell does _that _mean?”__

“It means that we know he has gotten help from a warlock, which makes it easier to find out who he went to and why…” 

Jace didn’t like the way the sentence was left unfinished. “But…”

“But…it also makes him very nearly impossible to find. Depending on how powerful the spell is, we may never find Alec, not unless he wants to be found.”


	4. Lost

Magnus POV

It had been nine days since Alec had gone missing. It was as if he’d just disappeared but that was impossible, so Magnus spent days in his loft doing every tracking spell with every imaginable tweak but to no avail. He’d then spent several more days tracking down every warlock in the local area and beyond, in hopes to find out who Alec sought out for help and still came up empty-handed. He’d also tried spells to enhance the parabatai rune but was again blocked by a powerful spell. He knew now that it wasn’t just basic magic at work here, he should be looking for an older, more advanced warlock. It was on day ten that the letter came. He had been researching the handful of warlocks that would know magic strong enough to create this type of spell when Izzy burst into his loft followed by Jace and Clary. 

“Magnus. It’s from him. He sent a letter.” She thrust the letter forward and he took it eagerly, hoping for a shred of good news. What he got instead was worse. The letter was in Alec’s familiar boxy script and had wet marks over the ink where tears might have fallen. He read it twice.

 

_Izzy and Jace,_

_I wanted to say I’m sorry for making you worry about me but I need you to know that I’m okay. Please understand that none of this is your fault. For some time I’ve known my life would be different but having you two there made every day worth it. I am confident you will be alright without me, especially with Simon and Clary there, you couldn’t find two better people._

_I ask that you don’t go to Magnus for help. Please respect his wishes to be left alone, as I have. This isn’t a problem that needs to be solved, it’s just the way life is now._

_If you need closure, I can only share with you this feeling; that I have lost. I have lost my parent’s trust, all faith in myself and any chance at happiness I might have had. All I had left was you two and I couldn’t bring you down with me. I just wanted you to know that I love you. Please take care of each other._

_Yours,  
Alec ___

__

__Magnus took a deep breath and let it out slowly then passed the letter back to Isabelle. “Well, that’s that then.”_ _

__Isabelle snatched the letter back and stared at it. “What the hell does _that _mean?”_ _ __

__“It means that he’s thankful that he wasn’t the only reason listed on that paper for Alec’s departure. Lessens the guilt some doesn’t it warlock?” Jace snapped angrily. Clary reached out to put a gentle hand on his arm but remained silent._ _

__Magnus knew they were hurting just as much as he was. Alec had, in one fell swoop, relieved Magnus of all wrong doings and taken the fault upon himself using his own failure as justification. The typical martyr of a Nephilim. If only Alec knew how wrong he was._ _

__Isabelle looked dumbfounded and tried handing the letter back. “Here, use it. Aren’t you going to track him?” When he made no move to take the paper her hand began to shake. “Magnus, don’t you want to find him?”_ _

__“Yes. More than my own life, but I won’t.” He said softly._ _

__“Magnus _take it!! _” She screamed shaking the letter at him._ _ __

__Magnus shook his head. “He doesn’t want to be found. He has made his wishes known.”_ _

__“No, this is practically begging for us to go find him…for _you _to find him.” She pleaded again, a single tear rolling down her face._ _ __

__No one said anything for several minutes and the only sound was Isabelle’s sniffles. His anger finally getting the better of him, Jace stepped forward next to Isabelle and looked at Magnus. “Well, if you aren’t willing to help, then I guess you were right, that’s that then.” He said and drew a seraph blade from his belt naming it and pointing it at Magnus’s chest._ _

__“Jace…what are you doing?” Isabelle’s eyes grew wide with panic._ _

__“He said it himself Izzy, he has no intention of helping us find Alec.” His face was contorted with pain and anger and he moved the blade up to press into Magnus’ neck causing a line of blood to run down. “So since I will never see my brother again, it won’t matter that I kill you.”_ _

__Magnus didn’t move to stop him but tilted his head to the side allowing Jace his vengeance. Besides, he didn’t want to live if he couldn’t be with his Alexander. Magnus closed his eyes, awaiting his fate when he felt a hand on his chest pushing him backwards. Isabelle had stepped between him and the blade as Clary had moved to lower Jace’s arm._ _

__“I know you’re angry, we all are,” she said looking between Magnus and Jace, “but this isn’t going to help Alec.” She turned to face Magnus, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “Please, just help us find him. We won’t go after him. I just need to know he’s okay…before I have to let him go forever.”_ _

__Her words almost did Magnus in. His hands balled into fists and a tear had escaped which he quickly wiped away before regaining his composure. “Give me the letter.” He said holding out his hand._ _

__It didn’t take but a moment for the tracking to work but Magnus did it again just to make sure he hadn’t been mistaken. His face remained blank but his emotions ranged from anger to betrayal to hope all at once. Isabelle stood close and Jace leaned forward with anticipation as Magnus’ eyes opened._ _

__“What did you see?” Jace asked._ _

__“Do you know where he is?” Isabelle asked more urgently. The three Nephilim stood silently pleading for good news._ _

__“No, but I may know someone who does. I’ll get dressed.” Magnus said and headed to his bedroom._ _


	5. News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of Suicide ahead.

Magnus POV

Magnus made a portal directly into Catarina’s living room. He didn’t want to chance giving her a heads up. As he stepped through he saw her shocked expression turn to a smile as she rose from a leather chair to greet them.

“Magnus…and friends. Make yourselves at home.” She gestured behind her but no one moved to sit.

“We aren’t here for small talk Cat. We’re here about Alec.” Magnus announced watching her face carefully.

“I was expecting you. Please, sit. I have much to tell you.”

A few minutes later they all sat around the dining room table each with a hot chocolate in hand eagerly waiting to hear what Catarina had to say. Both Isabelle and Jace were polite, considering how antsy they were earlier and it was possible they had used up all their pent up emotions at his place. Clary had opted to go back to the institute so someone could be there in case Alec came back.

“Where to start?” Cat wondered looking down at her drink.

“How about why we tracked Alec’s letter to you.” Jace offered looking directly at her.

“That’s because he asked me to deliver it for him.”

Isabelle sat forward quickly. “You’ve seen him?”

“Yes, just this morning.”

“ _Well how was he?_ Did he seem okay? Is he healthy? Sleeping? What did he say?” Isabelle fired the questions off so quickly that they all ran together and it was Jace’s hand over hers that stopped her.

“He looked tired but seemed fine. He didn’t really say much, just asked me to give the letter to you, that he would be in touch.”

She looked at Magnus who was focusing on the drink in his hands rather hard when he spoke. Though his words were neutral his tone spoke volumes. “You’re helping him hide.”

“Magnus, he came to me. What was I supposed to do?”

“You could’ve told him _no!_ ” He pushed his chair back to distance himself from her. Never had he been this angry with his friend. Never had he felt this betrayed. “Instead of coming to me, you helped him run away. He’s my boyfriend Catarina, _my_ responsibility. As my friend, you should’ve told me.” His yellow eyes shone brightly with an anger that eclipsed his words.

“He _was _your boyfriend.” Magnus flinched. “And he didn’t see it as running away, more like he wasn’t needed anymore. I had to help him Magnus, it was better than the alternative.”__

“What alternative?” Jace asked hesitantly.

“Death.” She replied softly.

Magnus’ heart shattered. It didn’t matter anymore that he was angry at Alec or that Catarina had been helping him on the sly and keeping it from him, all he wanted was his Alexander back in his arms and safe. He stood and walked to the window, his jaw flexing with determination.

“No.” Isabelle said in disbelief. “Alec would never kill himself.”

“No, he wouldn’t.’ Catarina continued. “It didn’t take me long to convince him he was being overly dramatic as you Nephilim tend to be but he threatened me with his imminent death by his own hand if I refused to help him. I didn’t think it smart to call his bluff, so I put a powerful anti-tracking spell over him and muted his parabatai rune, as he asked. He also asked for me to remove his memories,” she said looking toward Magnus, “so he wouldn’t remember the pain of losing you, but I declined, told him that was more your field of expertise.”

“Do you know where he is?” Jace asked pushing his empty cup to the center of the table.

“No, but I can tell when he’s close.”

“You can sense your magic on him.” Magnus stated not turning from the window. It should’ve been his magic used on Alec not Cat’s. It should be him helping and comforting and consoling and loving Alec but instead he was standing here feeling lost and broken like a pathetic, useless fool. He could only imagine what Alec felt. If anyone was a failure, it was Magnus.

Catarina came to stand up behind him but didn’t touch him. “I know you feel betrayed Magnus but you have to understand, it’s Alec’s life. You were the one that told him to leave, to move on without you, so who are you to say how he does it?”

Even though he disagreed with her, he sure as hell hated it when she was right. Magnus finally turned from the window to face her. “Promise me you’ll take care of him? Anything he needs?” At her nod he walked past the shadowhunters toward the door. He needed to be alone. “You two will have to find your own way back.”

Once outside he ducked his head against the cold wind and walked slowly, deep in thought. Jace and company thought Magnus had given up or maybe that he just didn’t care anymore but that was the furthest from the truth. Of course he wouldn’t give up on Alec. He intended to do everything in his power to find him and when he did, he would make sure Alec knew just how much he loved him. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to get Alec back. He only hoped that that’s what Alec wanted too.


	6. Time

Alec POV

Alec stood in front of the calendar and marked off another day in red. It seemed his persistence was paying off with this new gig he had going with the local vampire clan. Though he was a bit of a pain in the ass and a know-it-all, Raphael was easy to work with and brutally honest. Even though Alec wasn’t part of the Clave anymore, it didn’t stop him from working peacefully with downworlders. He was quite proud of his progress and picking up his notes, he flipped back to double check his calendar when he accidentally went too far, coming to that one month. Closing his eyes he dropped the calendar and laid back on his bed. 

It was October that Magnus had broken up with him. 

-November, he’d found a place to stay and immersed himself in work to deal with the pain. 

-December he’d taken to hunting demons day and night. 

-January was difficult. While hunting he’d spotted his siblings and watched them from a distance. Once they were out of sight, he went back to his apartment feeling heavy and guilty.

-February went by quickly and it was the first month he’d seen results of his long hours. A small bubble of pride began to grow in his chest. 

-March almost tore him apart when he sighted Magnus at an outdoor café. Against his better judgement he stayed to watch and realized that this had become a daily ritual for the warlock.

-April was when he found himself questioning his actions. It had been six months since he and Magnus had gone their separate ways but here he was, hiding in between buildings next to the café, psycho-watching the man he was supposed to have moved on from. He knew from Catarina that Magnus hadn’t been seeing anyone else. Alec visited her once a month to make sure her spells haven’t worn off and though he refused to speak of Magnus with her, it was the one question he would always ask. He just wanted to know the moment when Magnus finally decided to move on and forget about him and then maybe he would be able to do the same. 

But now, Magnus was right there in front of him staring off into the distance, a cup of tea next to him. His appearance was still the same, gorgeous hair, dark make-up. It was just his face that seemed lost, his eyes sadly vacant. It broke Alec’s heart to see Magnus this way, like he was just existing with no actual purpose. 

Every day Alec stood watching his ex he could feel his heart slowly began to break again. He knew he had to stop doing this to himself. This was the last time he vowed, and even though Magnus had no idea Alec was so close, he still felt the need to say goodbye for good. Alec took one last lingering look at those perfect lips, those beautiful eyes and made the decision that he would not come back to watch his love again, that he would finally let Magnus Bane go. A rose vendor passed by and under a glamour, Alec reached out to snag a single red rose, snapping the stem from it. Casually he approached Magnus from behind and passing by the table he laid the rose on the saucer next to his cup then quickly turned and left. He paused only momentarily to see Magnus reach down for his cup to find the rose before swiftly turning to catch a glimpse of who left it, but Alec was already gone.


	7. Unexpected

Alec POV

The next couple of weeks were excruciating.  Alec had to physically stop himself from going to the café.  It would’ve been a really bad idea anyway considering Magnus would be keeping an eye out from now on for his secret admirer.  Instead, he’d made plans to see Raphael about some rogue vampires he wanted to go talk to.  There had already been two deaths in relation to them and instead of calling the institute, Raphael wanted to try and settle it civilly within the clan.  Alec had readily agreed to be his back-up. 

Alec stopped across the hall from his apartment to knock on the door adjacent and smiled when a tall, dark haired werewolf answered the door.   

“Are you ready?”  He asked and was met by a large, bright smile.

“Yeah.  Of course.” 

Alec’s newest neighbor Jamie was a werewolf who was just a year older than himself.  They hit it off great and soon Jamie was joining Alec during his missions as back-up.  He enjoyed having the company and they learned quite a bit from each other, but there was one thing Alec couldn’t get past; Jamie was out as a gay man, he was really, really good looking and he was interested in Alec.  It wasn’t that any of this was a problem, except that it was.  Jamie was nice and hot and Alec had a chance right here to move on, he just couldn’t.  Maybe he just needed a little more time.  He hadn’t realized he’d been so deep in thought until Raphael’s voice startled him.      

“Amigo, you are looking very tired lately.  Having too much fun hunting the creatures of the night?”  Raphael teased as they walked through the park by the edge of the Hudson River in the moonlight. 

“I guess you could say that.  There’s always plenty of demons to kill so I get very little time off.”  Alec replied keeping pace with both Raphael and Jamie, who already knew each other.

“I’d be exhausted too amigo.  You seem to eat, sleep and breathe demons.”  Raphael noticed Alec flush and raise his eyebrows at his comment.  Raphael knew Magnus and he knew what this particular Nephilim meant to him.  It wasn’t hard to connect the dots.  “Or maybe it’s just one demon in particular.” 

At this Jamie raised his eyebrows in interest.

“We are not going to talk about my personal life.”  Alec stated flatly.

“Or lack of one.”  Raphael surmised just as they came out of the trees and upon the old building where the rogue vampires were supposed to be staying.  “I’ve a friend who reminds me of you, the look in his eyes, like he’s lost something dear to him and is desperately trying to recover it.  Remind me to tell you more about him later.” 

Alec looked up sharply but Raphael was already walking away.  Surely he couldn’t mean Magnus could he?  Glancing over he saw Jamie waiting on him patiently so he pushed the thought into the back of his mind for later and ran to catch up.  Raised voices caused the three to exchange looks and they quietly moved to the side of the building in the shadows.  What Alec saw made his heart beat double-time.  Thirty or so vampires were surrounding Jace, Isabelle, Clary and Simon.  He couldn’t hear what was being said so they moved to a closer vantage point. 

“ _Dios Mio!_   It looks like the Clave beat us here.  Let us hope this works out.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, if they’re anything like Alec.”  Jamie said causing Raphael to flash a suggestive wink in Alec’s direction.    

Just then a low growl went through the crowd causing his family to draw their weapons, seraph blades lighting up like stars in the night.  Alec leapt to a nearby staircase and readied his bow then nodded to Raphael and Jamie.  He watched as Raphael approached the group with a yell for everyone to stop.  Raphael nodded to the shadowhunters and turned his back on them while he addressed the vampires. 

“You must stop killing.  The Nephilim are here to help you but if you do not abide by the law, they will kill you.  I am asking you to come back with me to the Hotel Dumort, where you will be properly fed and shown how to survive.  Please.”  Raphael reached his hand out to a young vampire girl who was obviously starving but instead of taking his hand she lunged at Clary, her teeth bared.  Lightning fast, a seraph blade was plunged into her chest and she sank to the ground.  Then all hell broke loose. 

Like jagged waves the vampires attacked.  Raphael snapped necks and plunged his hand into a large vampire’s chest pulling out his heart before dropping it to the ground beside his unmoving body.  Jamie lunged into the crowd slicing bodies with his broadsword he’d trained with since a child.  Isabelle’s whip flashed forward snapping the heads from three more.  Clary stood close to Jace as he slashed through multiple vampires like butter, her own blade drawing dark blood.  Simon dug his teeth into the neck of the nearest vampire ripping out his throat and grimaced before attacking another. 

Alec seeing they were easily outnumbered didn’t hesitate to draw back his bow and let his arrows fly.  With perfect aim he pierced their hearts, dropping multiple vampires within seconds.  Taking notice that the attacks were coming from behind them now, some of the vampires fled while a few stood to the side waiting for the fighting to end.  Alec notched his bow again and took out two more that were going for Clary.  He knew the moment that Jace saw the arrows and realized Alec was there because he became more frenzied and dangerous.

Not long after the fighting stopped had Raphael made his way over to the vampires who had not fought.  Alec stood from his kneeling position and looked out at his siblings and friends.  They didn’t make a move toward him and for a moment he thought about leaving, but his heart won out and he moved down the steps to greet them.  Jamie met him halfway then followed behind him.    

Just as he walked up to them Izzy engulfed him in a tight hug that made his ribs hurt.  Her words came out deep, her tears staining his shirt.  “ _By the Angel Alec!!_   I’ve missed you so much.” 

He held her tightly while he kissed the top of her head, stroking her hair.  Looking up he nodded hello toward Clary and Simon then looked at Jace.  He was leaner than Alec remembered, like he’d been training more and his hair was longer.  He looked tired, not physically, but like someone who’d stayed up too late with no caffeine.  Izzy slowly let her death grip loosen but she kept her hand fisted in his shirt as if she were afraid he would bolt at the slightest moment. 

Jamie looked from Izzy to Alec.  “You know them?” 

“This is my family.”  He said and made introductions quickly.  Jace eyed Jamie warily but not finding him worth his time he returned his gaze to his parabatai.   

So they stood there.  Alec thought it almost silly how neither he nor Jace wanted to make the first move and were waiting as in a bizarre Mexican standoff.  He took a few steps forward forcing Izzy to release his shirt and Jace met him halfway, their bodies colliding in a fierce hug.  Seeing his family those months ago had made him happy but being this close made his heart ache.  He knew that ache well.  It was love.  He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed them until now. 

Jace grabbed a handful of Alec’s hair pulling his head back with a smile.  “I’d kiss you if I didn’t think I’d get in trouble for it.” 

“I suppose this one time I could forgive it.”  Clary said with a smile and both Alec and Jace laughed. 

Alec took a step back and looked him over.  “You look good.  Strong.”

“Someone has to keep these three safe.” 

“They look like they can handle themselves.  Even Clary is holding her own.  Simon, well…”  Alec left the sentence unfinished on purpose knowing Simon would have a witty comeback.

Not to be disappointed, Simon smiled moving his hands over his body in a showy fashion, “Hey, you can’t improve on perfection.” 

Isabelle rolled her eyes and moved to hug Alec again.  “You aren’t staying are you?”  She asked against is shirt. 

“No.  But I’ll be around.”  He disentangled her arms from him and looked over at Raphael who had begun walking toward them.

“I’m sorry amigo but we must be going.  The fledglings are getting restless and must feed.” 

Raphael stayed all business and Jamie stood by quietly as Alec said his goodbyes.  The vampires followed them back toward the hotel and Alec suggested Jamie finish the trip while he made a detour.  Alec was never more grateful for silence as he was then and he hurried back to his apartment to be alone and think. 


	8. Lonely

Magnus POV

Never in his four hundred years had his life felt so long. Being immortal, time always seemed to fly but the past six months had felt like a long, drawn out century in Hell. But time was only one proverbial nail in his coffin. Since making the decision to respect Alec’s wishes to move on, he’d lost all sense of care for anything. He did no magic unless absolutely necessary. It had become so bad that he didn’t feel the magic inside him anymore, like it wasn’t a part of him. He didn’t eat anything and because he consistently forgot to feed Chairman Meow, the cat had left and hadn’t come back for some time. Then the Nephilim had stopped coming by his loft which left Magnus completely alone. Not having the urge to move, he’d sit on the couch for hours, those hours gradually turning into days, holding Alec’s blue scarf against his chest.

One day he found himself walking to Catarina’s. A sad routine developed between the two where Magnus would beg her to tell him where Alec was and when she’d tell him no, he’d cry hot, silent tears on her couch for hours. She’d then force him to get up, eat and go back to his loft where he’d stay for the night. Upon waking he’d go sit at a local café until it was time to go back to Catarina’s, which he did every day for two months.

Two weeks ago had been a shock when he’d been sitting at the café, reached for his tea and found a single red rose. He’d hoped Alec had left it. He was almost certain it was Alec. The gesture had renewed hope in the warlock’s heart and he’d went again every day since, but there was no sign of any Nephilim and no more roses were left. Then the thought that it might have been a final goodbye crossed his mind and he wearily sank back into his usual depressed state.

“Cat, please talk to me.” Magnus whispered. His sat at his usual perch on the couch, his eyes red and puffy. “And not about your job at the hospital or how I’m ruining your leather by soaking it in tears…I want to talk about Alexander.”

“I’m not sure there’s anything left to say Magnus. Every time you’re over here that’s all we talk about.” She said softly though he could tell by the worry lines between her eyebrows that he’d been stressing her more than normal.

“I still love him. I will always love him. I just wish I could see him.” He uttered brokenly, closing his eyes. “You would let me know if something happened, if he…met someone.” Magnus leaned forward searching Catarina’s eyes for an answer he was terrified to hear.

“Of course I would. But that doesn’t seem likely right now.”

“Why? What did he say? _What do you know?!_ ” Magnus questioned anxiously.

“Well, not much. He refuses to talk about you when I see him.” Magnus visibly deflated before her eyes so she continued, hoping to renew her friend’s spirits somewhat. “He only asks one question in regards to you and it’s always the same.”

“Yes?”

“He asks if you’ve met someone.” Her heart breaks watching her friend this way. “Every time I tell him you haven’t he seems surprised, like he’d expected you to already have someone new.” She leaned forward and put her hand over his. “Magnus, he’s waiting for you to move on. I don’t think he can until he knows you have.”

“He doesn’t want to feel like he’s betrayed me again.” He said solemnly. “When was the last time he was here?”

Cat shook her head. “No Magnus. I’m not telling you when or how often I see him. I promised you I would do everything to help Alec and you stalking him isn’t helpful.” She sat back and took a sip of her tea eyeing Magnus warily. “And your pathetic attempt at following me didn’t do you any favors either.”

“If only warlocks could be tracked that would’ve gone so much smoother.” Magnus pouted remembering the dog he’d tripped over which knocked him into a very large werewolf who’d punched him in the face sending him falling into a wedding cake that was being carried to a delivery van. By then he’d lost Catarina, so sticky and defeated, he went home to shower and change. Since then she’d been onto him and he’d not gotten the chance to follow her.

“That was your own fault. You should really watch where you’re walking.” She watched as he fell back against the couch and she sighed. “Believe me, I wish just as much as you do that he’d come back. I frankly think you are both _incredibly_ stupid for pining for each other but _refusing_ to do anything about it. This is just a _ridiculous_ , _endless_ cycle of one waiting for the other to move on when _neither_ actually has any intention of _doing so!_ ” She ended with a yell and tilted her head with indignation.

Magnus stared, shocked at her sudden outburst. “Do you feel better now?” He asked incredulously.

“Yes…no. I don’t know. I have half a mind to tell you where he is just so we can get this done and over with but I can’t betray his trust.”

“Wait! You know where he is?! You’ve known this _whole time!_ You said you didn’t know! How could you _lie_ to me Cat?!” Magnus stood up tossing a pale blue pillow at the wall and stalked over to the window. “I don’t know who you are anymore.” He finished quietly.

Catarina rolled her eyes at his dramatics and went over to look out the window with him. “You’re right. I’m sorry Magnus. I’m just trying to do the right thing, and right now, I have no idea what that is.” He reached over to hold her hand, silently letting her know it was okay.

For several minutes they stood quietly until a hum came from across the room. It was Magnus’s phone. He stood sill for a moment, unsure if it was really his, it had been so long since anyone had contacted him. On the second buzz he darted across the room to answer.

“Hello?” He tried to keep his voice cool, he was the High Warlock of Brooklyn after all.

“Magnus, its Jace.”

“Jace…is everything okay? Has something happened?” Real smooth Magnus, he thought but couldn’t help himself, after all, this could be the most important phone call of his life. Or the worst. His heart felt ready to beat out of his chest with anticipation when he finally heard the words he’d been dying to hear for months.

“We saw Alec.”


	9. Couch

Magnus POV

Within minutes a portal had been made and Jace had been physically drug through into Catarina’s living room.

“Speak to me Blondie.” Magnus demanded pushing Jace onto the couch, sitting cross-legged next to him. “Please, every detail. How did he look? What did he say?”

Magnus surprisingly sat patiently listening to Jace relate the story to him. Catarina thought that even Jace appeared more alive, his eyes shining brightly and a smile plastered to his face as he spoke. If only Alec knew how special he was she mused.

“So he’s working with Raphael’s clan. Yet another friend that didn’t tell me they were seeing my…Alec.” He frowned heavily. “This must be a conspiracy.”

“But he did say he would be around.” Jace supplied keeping eye contact with the warlock. “I think he’s working his way back to us.”

Catarina knew Magnus was on edge so she did her best to sooth him with her words. “This is just the first step. He really misses you and I think you will see more of him now. We just have to not rush things.”

“But what if you don’t see him? What if he stays gone?” Magnus asks solemnly, staring down at his hands. “I can’t risk it Cat. I can’t never see Alexander again.” Magnus’ dam had broken and fresh tears ran down his face. “If you tell anyone what you saw here Nephilim, I will conjure a hundred ducks to terrorize you every day for the rest of your life.” He growled, jabbing a threatening finger at Jace.

Jace held up his hands in surrender and smiled. “He can’t stay gone. Because I know where he’s staying.” He said matter-of-factly leaning back against the couch casually, not letting the shocked faces of the two warlocks phase him.

“You…you know where he’s at…like, _right now?_ ” Magnus asked dumbfounded.

“Yeah, I followed him last night.” He gave Magnus a look like he was an idiot for asking such a question. “I’m surprised you haven’t found him yet, _‘since warlock tracking is so much better than shadowhunter tracking’,_ and all that.” Jace mocked in a nasal tone.

Magnus sputtered something about ducks and began chanting a spell under his breath but was hit in the head with a pillow by a frowning Catarina. “It wasn’t from lack of trying on his part Jace. Magnus sort of became his own obstacle when it came to Alec. He was torn between searching, if you will,” she glared in Magnus’s direction before continuing, “and between doing as Alec wished and not looking at all. So when he finally stopped, he fell into a deep depression, half of which was spent on my couch.”

Jace stood up looking down at Magnus grimacing. “Well you can’t see him for the first time in months looking like that. Get your shit together warlock, I’m ready to get things back to normal.”

Catarina shrugged. “I suppose you’re right. It was only a matter of time before one of you found him, I can only hide someone for so long after all but I still think you should handle this with great finesse. Alec left once, who’s to say he won’t do it again? Only this time he would go to someone else for help and then it’s almost certain you would never see him again.”

“Well we can’t just show up at his door.” Magnus said, his fear shifting from never seeing Alec again to finally actually getting to see Alec again. No matter how many times he’d imagined the scenario in his mind it still didn’t compare to the reality of it.

Jace smirked. “Yeah, he would probably hate _Catarina_ for letting us find him, hate _me_ for bringing you,” he looked at Magnus who glared back, “and hate _you_ because you’re the asshole who broke his heart.” So it’s a lose-lose-lose.”

“Such wonderful insight. Thank you.” Magnus chided.

“A plan of action would be a good idea.” Catarina agreed then snapped her fingers emitting excited yellow sparks. “If Jace could find a way to get Alec to meet him somewhere, maybe for a mission, and instead he stumbles across Magnus...”

“Yeah, I could text him and ask. See what he says.” Jace said pulling his phone from his back pocket wiggling it around annoyingly.

“Well aren’t you just full of _extremely important_ , last-minute information? Let it be known we appreciate you telling us _right away_ that you also had his number all along.” Magnus quipped, his voice laced with heavy sarcasm. Any minute now Magnus thought and he would ring the stupid Nephilim’s neck.

“I try.” Jace replied. “So when do you want to do this?”


	10. Vampire

Magnus POV

Magnus hated Jace Herondale. When his thoughts weren’t of thick dark hair and bright blue eyes they were of Magnus’s perfectly manicured and moisturized hands strangling Jace’s annoying little throat. At Catarina’s apartment a decision was made that they were to go ahead with the plan to lure Alec and Magnus together but under the condition that Magnus resume his role as High Warlock for a couple of weeks, which meant he had to wait that much longer to see Alec. Yes, he blamed Jace. He supposed it would look better for Magnus to have a reason to be seen out and about and he didn’t want Alec to think he’d been holed up in his loft like some poor depressed sap for the past seven months.

  
So the next two weeks he was scheduling appointments with clients, cleaning up his apartment and setting out food for Chairman Meow in the hopes the cat would come home soon. He’d heard that the Nephilim had met up with Alec twice to hunt demons and that he’d seemed happy. Just the thought of seeing Alec again made Magnus smile. For the first time in several months he felt like this might actually work.

His first order of business took him to see Raphael about some blood. After a quick text exchange he spent time on himself in a way he hadn’t done for a long time. All his clothing matched, his hair was on point and his make-up brought out his glitter. Stepping out the door he realized he felt good and that he hadn’t felt this good for some time.

Upon entering the Hotel Dumort Magnus took in his surroundings. The floor had been swept and pale, cracked marble shone in the lamp light. Fresh boards were screwed in holding the place upright and rolls of carpet stood in the corner. Raphael sat on a plush chair across the room sipping a blood cocktail and frowned at his visitor.

“I thought I told you to never wear that hat again.” Raphael barked frowning up at the offending object perched on Magnus’s head.

“That was fifty years ago. It’s come back in style, so I thought I would give it another go.” Magnus defended but took it off laying it on a table because he knew Raphael would glare at his head for the whole visit otherwise. “So the hotel is looking good.”

“Yes, we’ve been doing some renovations. If you could believe it we have a group of mundanes teaching us. It’s been quite interesting.” Raphael said smiling finally.

  
“I bet it has.” He replied fondly. He wouldn’t say that he missed seeing Raphael, that would be too generous, but he was proud of the vampire he’d become and it warmed Magnus’ heart to know he’d been a part of that.

“I would offer you a drink but…” He raised his own glass indicating all he had on hand was blood and Magnus shook his head with a smile. “So you’ve decided to do your job again. I will say, I was beginning to worry you would turn gross in that smelly depression pit you call a loft, sitting there like mold on queso.” Raphael shivered at his own analogy and reached over to grab a vial and pass it over to Magnus who snatched it to put in his jacket pocket.

“Well, it was necessary at the moment to resume work.”

“But you look better my friend. I am happy to see your clothes match again. And that you don’t smell.”

Magnus didn’t reply. He wouldn’t know what to say anyway because he wasn’t sure if Raphael was poking fun at him or if he was being brutally honest, as was his way.

  
“If I had to hazard a guess as to why you’ve made this change I would put my pesos on a certain hardworking Nephilim.” Raphael watched Magnus from over the rim of his drink and was rewarded with a slight twitch of a smile. “So I am right. You and the shadowhunter have gotten back together. Well congratulations hermano. I did have my doubts after seeing him with that werewolf though.”

It was as if the world stopped. Magnus felt his blood freeze. Had Alec met someone else? Had he moved on already? Was Magnus too late? “What werewolf?” He was surprised that he’d growled the question and took a steadying breath.

Raphael continued talking normally already busy making himself another drink. “A werewolf kid named Jamie. He’s not a complete loss, well…he does what he’s told. He’s very into your Nephilim and I figured they were together but…” Raphael stopped mid-sentence when he turned around and saw the anguish on his friends face. “Ah…Dios mio, not again.”

Sitting his drink down Raphael moved to cross the room but Magnus held up his hand. He knew Raphael wasn’t the type to hug but it wasn’t safe to be close to anyone right then especially since he’d recently starting using his magic again. When his emotions were this strung out, somewhere between hope and loss with fear manning the boat, his magic was unpredictable and Magnus could feel it building.

“How long?” He asked.

“Maybe two months. At least, that’s how long he’s been coming with Alec when I see him.”

Magnus closed his eyes and clenched and unclenched his fists. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening to him, not when he was so close. Just then the pile of rugs in the corner burst into flames. Raphael sighed and sat in his plush red chair as Magnus muttered an apology under his breath then waved a hand to quickly put it out.

“This doesn’t change anything amigo. I’ve seen how disgustingly happy Alec was with you. He doesn’t act that way with the werewolf. Sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.” Raphael said with such a tenderness that Magnus looked over at him meeting his eyes. Despite their barbed jibes at each other, Raphael was as honest and dear a friend as they came and Magnus was grateful for him.

“Thank you” Magnus nodded, and it was understood to be enough for both of them.

“Now, I believe you’ve worn out your welcome warlock. Try not to set anything else on fire on your way out. And leave the hat.” Raphael said raising his eyebrow. Magnus nodded and took his leave.


	11. Werewolf

Alec POV

Alec hurt all over. He’d made the mistake of going out alone to take care of a mermaid problem and ended up battling a mutated siren. Thankfully he was a good swimmer and had had the foresight to use the proper runes or he would’ve drowned. The whelps across his stomach and back weren’t going away as quickly as he thought they would after drawing the irazate on himself and he pulled out his phone to call Catarina while he unlocked his door.

“Alec, what were you _thinking_ dealing with sirens alone? They are extremely dangerous and aren’t known for having many Nephilim friends!” Catarina railed at him. Alec had to admit that he enjoyed her motherly instinct towards him, even if it was laced with anger at the moment, it was comforting.

“Yeah I know, but the whelps, how long until they go away?” He asked lifting his shirt and poking at one with a hiss. “They’re pretty painful.”

“If you put on another irazate it will probably take a several days. The only way to speed it up is with magic and I’m not available to take care of you right now.” She was silent a moment. “I could send another warlock out to you.”

He knew exactly who she meant but he wasn’t ready yet. He wasn’t ready to look into those eyes and see rejection or hate or whatever the warlock felt for him now. “No, that’s okay. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t dying of some strange seaweed disease. Thank you Catarina.”

After hanging up the phone he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He was completely soaked, his skin pale from the cold water and his shirt was ripped in several places and covered in blood, definitely not salvageable. Slipping off his boots he heard a knock at the door. Sighing he walked over to answer and found Jamie.

“Hey, I heard you come home and I… _holy shit!_ Alec what happened to you?” He gasped, pushing his way into the room taking in Alec’s tattered state.

“It’s fine, just a run in with a siren.”

Jamie shook his head. “You know siren wounds take a long time to heal? Where’s your stele?” He moved into the room and picked it up from the bed and turned back to hand it to him. “Fix yourself real fast and I’ll be right back, I have some salve in my room that will help those heal faster.”

While Jamie was gone, Alec walked over to his bed and pulled his shirt off, throwing it in the trash and proceeded to draw another iratze. The bruising around his ribs was now fading to nothing but the whelps were still red and raw. Hearing a noise behind him he turned to find Jamie staring at him, holding a small clear tub. Alec noticed the way his eyes raked over his body and he flushed, suddenly feeling the need to cover up.

“Um, yeah…this stuff works wonders.” He sat the tub down on the bed along with some bandages. “If you turn around I can put this on and get you wrapped up. But I warn you, it will sting a little.” He opened the tub as he spoke and Alec was about to refuse, to say that he could do it himself when Jamie gripped his shoulder turning him around.

Jamie was right that the salve would sting but he was gentle as he rubbed it over the wounds on Alec’s back. His touch was light but firm and it made Alec realize he liked the feel of Jamie’s hands. They were soft and warm. He knew he was probably touch starved since he’d had no physical contact in such a long time but he’d never had anyone other than Magnus touch his back and chest before. He felt guilty and curious all at once, a part of him wanting to explore this newness.

He felt pressure on his side and realized it was Jamie turning him so he could get to the wounds on his side and front. They made eye contact for a moment before he looked back down to resume his work. It was getting harder to focus with the werewolf’s hands rubbing gently over his abdomen. The tops of his fingers would graze under one of his pecks or linger on his side and it made it hard for Alec to breathe. Suddenly the curious urge became stronger gaining Alec some courage. Why shouldn’t he be able to explore? He wasn’t bound to Magnus. Magnus didn’t even want him anymore.

Jamie then put the salve down and took up the bandages. “Arms up.” He commanded, his eyes holding Alec’s. Jamie’s eyes were dark blue with green flecks. They were nice. It was the first time he’d been close enough to tell. Then he got much closer when Jamie put his arm around him to wrap the bandages and Alec could smell him. It was different from how Magnus smelled of sandalwood and vanilla, it was heavier, woodsier. “All done.” He said, one hand still lingering at Alec’s side.

“Thank you.” It was all Alec knew to say.

“Alec, I would do anything for you.” Jamie’s hand moved up to touch his face and Alec didn’t move. This was it. He knew it the moment Jamie leaned in and his eyes lowered. Keeping his hands to his sides Alec closed his eyes as well, fear and excitement warring in his head and tangling his nerves. Gently their lips met, Jamie’s dancing lightly over his, almost teasing until his tongue slid between Alec’s lips and the kiss became more urgent and hungry, thrusting and pulling at Alec’s mouth. Alec took a step back but felt the bed against his knees and Jamie had grabbed his face, holding him firmly in place. The kiss went on for another minute and Alec could feel the werewolf strength in the other boy as he ran one of his hands down over Alec’s hip to pull him closer. When his mouth ran over Alec’s jaw down to the rune over his neck he shifted away.

“Jam…Jamie stop.” He said, finally touching him to push him back.

The look on the other’s face was a mixture of confusion and want. “What’s wrong? I thought you liked me.”

“I do like you, it’s just…this is...” Alec couldn’t find the words to explain how he felt.

“You’re still hung up on your ex.” Jamie said pointedly. “It’s okay. I understand. I’ve been there, but that shouldn’t stop you from finding yourself…from seeing what else there is out there.” He urged stepping up and running his thumb over Alec’s bottom lip. “I really like you Alec and right now _I’m here_ …but _he’s_ not. All I’m saying is that I would really like a chance.”

Alec stepped forward closing the distance between them and kissed him hard, one hand on the werewolf’s jaw, the other on his arm holding him still. The kiss was quick and angry with all the frustration of every uncertainty he’d felt lately. He pulled away and stepped back frowning. “Goodnight Jamie.”

“Goodnight Alec.” He beamed, staring for just a moment longer before leaving.

The moment the door clicked Alec closed his eyes and put his head in his hands. His heart burned with guilt. The only thing he could see was a pair of yellow eyes staring back at him full of pain and betrayal. He’d tried. He’d allowed another man to touch him, to kiss him, to see if he would be able to move on but the only touch he wanted, would ever want was Magnus’s and he would never be able to feel it again. Feeling like absolute hell, he dressed in dry clothes and a jacket and headed out into the cold night.


	12. Longing

Alec POV

His heart hurt. Every breath he took was laced with agony but he didn’t really care. His wandering feet took him from his apartment to the institute and finally to the loft. It was a familiar path after all. Standing just outside the door he reached up to trace the metal letters that read BANE before his finger hovered over the buzzer only to fall down. How many times had he done this same thing, taking for granted it would never change? What a fool he’d been. Now, he stood outside across the street from the loft just staring up at the windows like some crazy stalker waiting for their prey. 

“I hear a real asshole lives there.” A voice said from behind him making him pull a blade from his belt and aim it toward them. “A real rogue among men. Breaks hearts wherever he goes.” Jace stepped out of the shadows and looked up at the windows before turning to Alec. “He isn’t here. He went to see Raphael about some tainted blood that’s hit the streets. High Warlock duties and all that.” 

He stared at Jace but didn’t say anything then put his blade away and looked back up to the windows. For so long he’d refused to speak or hear about Magnus since Magnus had wanted nothing to do with him, but right now, standing so close to where he lived, so close to where he laid his glittery head, it was all he wanted to do. “Tell me…” Alec ordered faintly not taking his eyes from the loft. 

“He sometimes wears your clothes, I’m pretty sure they’re yours anyway. Way too big for him. Black. Wrinkled with holes in them.” They remained standing in silence, Jace waiting for a reaction but getting none so he continued. “I almost killed him. I held out my blade and cut his throat because he hurt you. Because he was the reason you left.” He looked again at his silent parabatai who now had wet eyes and a murderous look on his face but still didn’t speak. “You miss him.” He said without breaking eye contact. “It’s why you’re here.” He sighed heavily and walked over pulling Alec into an embrace. 

Alec’s arms held on tight and he buried his face in Jace’s shoulder. “I don’t know what to do.”

Jace pulled back and smiled a wicked smile. “I’ll tell you what I would do if I were you.” Alec raised an eyebrow with trepid curiosity. “I’d slap on a fearless rune and go tell him how I felt, demand he apologize for breaking my heart and take me back and if he didn’t, I’d have him erase every memory we had together so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain anymore.”

Alec surprised himself and Jace by laughing hard and loud. It was a laugh from his gut and made him feel so good that he couldn’t stop smiling. “You know, that's a really good plan.” 

“Only the best for my brother.” 

Alec was still smiling but looked confused at Jace who put his hands back in his pockets. “What are you doing here anyway?” 

“I’m watching the loft.” Alec still looked confused so Jace continued with the elaborate lie he'd just made up. “There have been threats made by some pretty powerful downworlders. We’re worried that Magnus’s life is in danger but he won’t accept any sort of protection, so we have to be inconspicuous.”

The look on Alec’s face was golden and had Jace feeling pretty proud of himself. Now Alec had an emotion besides fear flowing through him. It also solidified the next part of Jace’s plan to perfection. “But hey, don’t worry, we’ve got it covered. I won’t let anything happen to him.” He declared slapping Alec on the back and getting a deep grunt of pain from him. “Alec, what’s wrong?”

“Ah…siren whelps.” 

“Ouch. You should really get to Catarina with those, if not they could take days to heal and then they won’t heal properly.” 

Alec nodded feeling like he’d heard this a million times already. “Yeah well, she’s unavailable right now so I just have to deal with them.” 

Alec looked at Jace who knew that Alec was thinking that Jace would mention Magnus, so Jace didn’t mention Magnus just so Alec would continue to stare at him wondering why he didn’t mention Magnus. It was all a very confusing moment. 

“Yeah, I guess I’m gonna go.” Alec said jerking his thumb behind him. Jace nodded. “So, I’ll see you around?” 

“You can count on it.” Jace agreed clasping hands with his parabatai and smiling brightly at his departing back.


	13. Surprise

Magnus POV

Magnus knew he’d felt this exact way before and not too long ago if he recalled accurately. Ah yes…he hated Jace Herondale. Normally he had the pleasant daydream of turning Jace into something unnatural or giving him the body parts of a duck but at the moment he didn’t have the pleasure, he was busy being surrounded by six very angry demons and a dark looking warlock.

He wouldn’t mind ‘taking care of business’ as it was but he preferred to do it with back-up and if he were being honest, that Ravener demon was very large. Magnus quickly sent a fire message to Catarina then turned to the warlock. He was tall and bald with plated spikes running down each side of his head like a dinosaur and his eyes were completely black. He didn’t look happy either.

“If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say you’ve been summoning demons.” Magnus’s tone was casual but his body stood rigid, ready for battle.

“You’d have guessed right but I don’t see how it’s any of your business. So why don’t you run along now?” The warlock waved a clawed hand and started to turn but Magnus stopped him.

“I would you see but, this just happens to be my business and not to toot my own horn, but I’m quite good at it. Got me the title of High Warlock anyway.”

This stopped the warlock dead who turned around and smiled. “I know you. I’m pretty sure we met about a year ago when you and some Nephilim raided the Brooklyn subway looking for a greater demon.”

Magnus remembered the fight, a mixture of mundanes, fairies and two warlocks who’d somehow summoned a greater demon and was wreaking havoc on the streets. This warlock must have been one of the few that had gotten away.

“Sometimes things can’t be helped the way they happen.” Magnus tried reasoning.

“You killed my girlfriend.” The warlock said, red swirls sparkling at his fingertips.

“She was breaking the law, putting lives in danger. You all were. Someone had to stop you.” He tried to reason one more time with the warlock but he continued to advance, so Magnus had no choice but to defend himself. The demons, attuned to the one who summoned them, began to snap and swirl their stingers towards Magnus closing in on him. Like a rush of adrenaline, Magnus’s whole body became engulfed in blue magic, crackling like electricity as his yellow cat eyes shone brightly.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the stinger of a shax demon swing toward him. Just before it hit him he threw his arms wide, releasing the energy like an explosion, incinerating the two closest demons and knocking most of the others back several feet. Throwing out his hand he threw two sharp spears of magic taking out another demon, moving quickly out of the way to avoid the giant Ravener demon. A red ball of energy grazed his arm burning the skin and Magnus rolled to dodge another three magical blasts before hitting the warlock with a stun spell he’d hoped would keep him down long enough to allow him to finish killing the rest of the demons. When he turned around he was shocked to see he had help finally. A Nephilim…no, _his Nephilim_ was fighting the three remaining demons! It was really his Alec! His day was suddenly looking so much better. He loved Jace Herondale!

 _“Feel free…to stand there…and watch.”_ Alec grunted dodging a stinger before slicing through it with a seraph blade.

“Oh, right.” Magnus said happily taking over the two shax demons while Alec notched his bow shooting arrows into the giant Ravener demon.

He dispatched of one and was dodging the smaller, quicker of the two when he heard Alec cry out. The distraction was enough for a stinger to find Magnus’s shoulder and push him roughly to the ground. With a blast of blue electricity the demon above him shuddered and dissolved to ash. Disregarding his own injury he got up and stood to see that Alec had finally killed the Ravener demon and was walking toward him.

“Are you alright? I hear you cry out.” Magnus said looking over Alec from top to bottom not quite ready to look into his eyes. His hand shook slightly as he passed it over Alec’s body in search of wounds.

“I’m fine but you’re not. You’re bleeding.” Magnus hadn’t realized that he’d been holding his shoulder with his right hand and pulled it away allowing Alec to look at it. He took this moment to study his face. Alec seemed thinner, like he wasn’t eating as much as his body needed and had frown lines between his eyebrows that Magnus had the urge to rub away with his fingers. Though Alec didn’t touch him, Magnus felt his presence like an aura, painful but necessary.

“Shax demon stung me. I have to get back to the loft before the venom gets into my bloodstream.” He said as he began to feel light headed.

“Why can’t you heal yourself?” Alec asked frowning.

“I’ve no energy left. I don’t know if you noticed but that was one hell of a fight, not to mention how much magic I used earlier.” Magnus pointed out, slowly moving away but stopped when a strong hand gripped his arm.

“Magnus…” Alec started and Magnus closed his eyes because he knew what the hunter was about to offer and he couldn’t take it. “Let me help you.” Alec said softly causing Magnus to look at him. For a heartbeat blue eyes met and held yellow, trying to convey their innermost turmoil without words until Magnus saw something move behind Alec.

  
It all happened in slow motion. Alec staring into his eyes, Magnus seeing a flash of red then moving to stand in front of Alec just before the spell hit him in the chest. Then from the ground, he saw Alec notch and send an arrow at the warlock before reaching down to touch his face, saying his name over and over, the last thing he heard before the darkness took him.


	14. Savior

Alec POV

This wasn’t happening. Magnus couldn’t die. He _wouldn’t let_ Magnus die. Magnus wasn’t even supposed to be here, he thought taking the warlock’s hand in his. The familiar ache in his chest began again but he pushed his feelings aside to focus. There had to be something he could do but he knew there wasn’t, so he called Catarina, relayed the story to her and thanked the angel when she said she was on her way.

Now all he could do was wait. Sitting on the ground he ever so gently lifted the unconscious warlock and held him in his arms. This whole day had turned into a huge mess. He’d woken up to an overzealous Jamie who insisted on checking on Alec’s whelps again but Alec told him no, so throughout the day the werewolf would touch Alec lazily, resting his hand on his arm or reaching for his hand. Alec appreciated the gesture but really didn’t want to reciprocate. By the time night had fallen they’d agreed after dinner to go check out an old warehouse that was supposed to have demon activity but a surprise visit from Catarina had him running to help Jace who’d gotten himself in some danger. What he hadn’t expected to find was Magnus, all alone and severely outnumbered.

He wondered what Magnus would say now if he were awake and smiled briefly as he remembered some of the warlock’s one liners. Alec loved everything about him and the all too familiar pain in his heart came back. He just wanted Magnus to wake up, for him to be alright. Alec hugged him tighter and moved his nose down to inhale the familiar scent, a scent he’d missed so much it made his mouth water slightly. He briefly wondered when his love had developed into an urgent craving as he reached down to run his hand over Magnus’s face and because he couldn’t resist, he pressed his lips to the warlock’s head, pulling him as close as he could, snuggling him against his chest.

The sound of a portal being made and excited voices caused Alec to turn. Seeing Catarina he scooped Magnus up into his arms and ran to meet her.

“Let me look at him.” She demanded covering him with yellow magic. Next to her was an agitated looking Jamie who glared from him to Magnus. “The fool sent me a fire message asking for help but didn’t leave an address. Right, let’s get him back to the loft.” She made another portal and they stepped into Magnus’s living room. Alec carried him straight to the bedroom, kicking the door open and laying him down on the bed. He quickly used a knife to open the shirt and peel it back exposing the wound for Catarina who immediately began to work.

Jamie stood at the foot of the bed watching. “So who’s this guy?” He asked, his eyes lingering on Alec as he spoke.

“His name is Magnus Bane. He’s the High Warlock of Brooklyn.” Alec answered sitting at the edge of the bed leaning over the warlock. Jamie watched the way Alec held his hand and caressed the warlock’s face and knew what Alec wasn’t saying.

“And he’s your ex.” Jamie supplied for him.

Catarina visibly jerked at the statement then continued to heal her friend without a beat. After several minutes of intense concentration she removed her hands, the yellow sparks disappearing, and leaned back. “The poison is out of his system but he is still drained of energy and the spell that warlock cast on him makes it where he can’t use his magic to heal. It could be extremely dangerous if he doesn’t regenerate soon.”

“And what are we supposed to do about that?” Jamie all but huffed. He looked rather put out that he had to witness his crush worry over his ex-lover in their old bedroom.  
Catarina flashed him a look Alec hoped to never see come his way before she turned to him. “Alec, are you willing to share your energy?”

“I already tried that but he wouldn’t let me.”

“There’s a way I can act as a siphon between you two but you have to pull back when you feel it’s too much. With Magnus unconscious he can’t tell you when to stop.”  
Alec nodded and took Magnus’s hand in his holding it tight.

“Wait! Sharing energy with a warlock is dangerous Alec. When you do they automatically have access to your mind. You shouldn’t risk yourself like that. Here, let me do it.” He asserted stepping forward, reaching out to take Magnus’s hand but Alec pulled it away.

“I’ve done this before.” He said then nodded to Catarina who held her hands over Magnus and closed her eyes.

Alec felt the heat of the pull as it came from his chest and tingled down his arm to where their hands met, creating a bright glow. Magnus’s back arched slightly as his body took in Alec’s energy. It was much quicker than normal and Alec began to feel drained sooner than anticipated but he held on a little bit longer wanting to make sure Magnus got all he needed. Just as the room began to spin he let go and leaned forward, taking in deep breaths just over Magnus’s prone body.

“Alec, are you okay?” Catarina asked putting her hand on his shoulder.

He nodded but kept his eyes on Magnus. The wound was stitching itself back together slowly and the color had come back to his skin. Slowly he went to stand and almost fell into Jamie who immediately put his arms around him.

“I told you this was a bad idea. You could’ve died trying to save him.” Jamie said heatedly, his grip tightening on Alec possessively.

Alec’s eyes flicked up at Jamie with clear honesty and intent. “I _would_ die to save him.”

They stood quiet for a moment, Alec breathing heavily and Jamie with shock written all over his face.

“Jamie, I need to get to my apartment for some supplies and I will need your help. Alec,” she offered taking his hand and pulling him to the other side of the bed for him to sit, “why don’t you stay here and rest. I need you to keep an eye on our patient until I get back.” She gently pushed him back so his head rested on a pillow.

“What about the spell that hit him?” Alec asked his eyes flicking from Magnus to Catarina.

“Already taken care of. We’ll be back soon.” She smiled and turned to create a portal.

Jamie looked ready to protest but one look from Catarina had him closing his mouth. He gave one lingering look at Alec laying sprawled over the bed before disappearing into the portal with Catarina. Alec rolled to his side so he could see Magnus and put his hand over the warlock’s heart. Satisfied with feeling the slow but steady beat he laid back and allowed sleep to claim him.


	15. Hungry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A change of pace with a little Jace. Couldn't resist.

Jace POV

He was hiding in his room from Izzy with a huge ham sandwich. One hour ago she announced she was cooking dinner so he’d feigned illness and hightailed it to his room with the only, though hastily thrown together, decent meal he would get for the day. Just as he was bringing the sandwich to his mouth he heard a soft rap on his door. Quickly stuffing it under his pillow he laid back and drooped his eyes.

“Hey bro, how are you feeling?” Isabelle asked standing in the door.

“I’m alright, just going to get some sleep. I’m sure I’ll feel better once I wake up.”

“Ok.” She hesitated briefly. “I’ll save some of my homemade soup in a tub for when you wake up.” She said smiling.

“Thanks Iz.” He whimpered sadly, probably blinking too rapidly at her painful generosity.

Once she left the room he sat up and listened at the door for a moment then turned the lock. There would be no interruptions this time he thought as he reached under the pillow and pulled out the sandwich. “My precious.” He growled and brought it to his mouth when his door burst open behind him causing him to jump and drop the sandwich on the floor. A low moan escaped him as he turned to see who his guest was this time.

Catarina strode into the room like a mad woman. “Jace Herondale I am going to _kill you!_ ”

“Yes but next time, could you at least knock first?” He begged reaching down to collect the sandwich and began putting it back together on his bed.

“I knew that you were calling in Alec today to _‘meet’_ with Magnus but you almost sent Magnus to his _death!_ Why didn’t you at least stick around to make sure he was okay before sending him into a den of demons raised by a warlock?”

She grimaced when Jace held the sandwich up to inspect it before taking a large bite out of it. “Five minute rule.” He choked around his food then reached into his dresser drawer pulling out a drink. “I did none of the above for three reasons.” He held up his fingers as he counted. “One, as High Warlock, its Magnus’s job to handle such situations as this, so he should’ve been there anyway.” Jace paused to take another bite of his sandwich but it was flung via magic from his hand into the wall by a glaring Catarina. “Two,” he sighed, “I didn’t exactly inform Magnus this was the time he would see Alec, I just asked him to meet me there, saying that I needed his help with something important. And three,” he said quickly before she could do any more magic on him, “technically, I sent Alec to be Magnus’s back-up, it’s just that neither of them knew it at the time.”  
Catarina continued to glare as Jace took another drink and re-hid it in his dresser drawer then leaned back serenely against his bed. “So I take it Magnus is okay then?”

“Yes. Between me and Alec he will be fine. How did you know he wasn’t dead?” She frowned.

“Because you didn’t kill me as soon as you came in.”

He looked up just to see her back as she was leaving then from the other side of the room his sandwich flew over to hit him in the face and land on him and the bed. Gingerly he picked up a tomato from his chest and popped it into his mouth.


	16. Awake

Alec POV

Alec groaned. His head hurt and his body felt like it had been hit by a large truck, more specifically a gorgeous truck full of glitter running on magic. Crap! He had to check on Magnus, make sure he was okay. Groaning again he rolled over and opened his eyes to see two bright yellow ones staring back at him.

“Magnus…you’re awake.” He sat up slowly holding his head in his hands. Magnus was not only awake but he was out of bed, dressed and wearing his usual make-up, sipping a cup of tea like nothing had even happened.

“Yes. I’ve been awake for a while now.” He looked Alec over with a frown. “What I am curious about though is what happened after the fight, and why you’re here in my bed.”

Alec flushed crimson and went to scoot from the bed but Magnus stepped in front of him holding a hand out to stop him and leaned down to get a better look at him. “I uh…called Catarina who portaled us here and when we got back she healed you _but…you_ were low on energy so I gave you mine.” Alec had to focus through the pain for the correct words.

Magnus looked stricken then. “She allowed you to siphon your energy to me while I was _unconscious?!_ That’s even more dangerous because you don’t know when to stop. Alexander you could’ve _died!_ ”

Magnus was better. Magnus was also mad but Alec couldn’t much worry about that right now, what mattered at the moment was making his headache go away. He moaned again holding his head and tried to stand.

“Alec let me help you.” He tried reaching for his arm but Alec moved away from his grasp.

“Oh…hell.” He sputtered as the room began to spin again and he collapsed to his knees. The feeling of warm hands under his arms startled him and he shivered as his head sunk into a pillow. “No Magnus. Please. You have to heal.”

“Thanks to you I’m fully healed and energized darling, and now, I’m going to take care of you.” Alec groaned reaching to push the warlock’s hands away only to have his own held down tightly. “And sadly, you will lay here and let me because you are in no condition to refuse.”

Barely, like tiny pin pricks that tickled, he felt magic flow over his cheeks and forehead thankfully easing the pain there. His eyes opened and he focused on Magnus who leaned over him checking his body for any other wounds, just like he always did when Alec came back from hunting with his family, back when they were together. His breathe hitched at the feel of Magnus’ hands on his chest and waist. He heard a hiss as he raised Alec’s shirt up revealing the whelps.

“ _Alexander!_ Why didn’t you get these taken care of? Siren wounds…”

“-take longer to heal without magic.” Alec interrupted and finished for him. “Yes, trust me, I know.”

Magnus frowned but waved his hand over Alec’s stomach letting his magic erase his body of wounds. After a few minutes he finished and leaned over the hunter. “They’re considerably better but you will still be sore.” Idly, as if by habit, he let his fingers skim over one of Alec’s abs and run up his side slowly.

“Magnus…” Alec began but wasn’t sure what to say. His breathing had sped up and he wasn’t good with words but he desperately wanted to tell him how much he’d missed him, how long he’d waited for this moment and how he’d wanted this touch more than he wanted anything else in the world.

Magnus moved his hand back quickly. “All done darling.” Alec frowned when he got up to walk across the room. “I’ve left some clean clothes for you in the bathroom. Feel free to use the shower to freshen up. I’ll be in the next room.”

And with that Alec was left alone. He felt empty, like a huge void was engulfing him in the sheets of the man he loved the most but couldn’t have, and he hated it. Standing up he made his way to the bathroom with his mind made up to set things straight the moment he got out.


	17. Attack

Magnus POV

He’d just walked out. What else was he supposed to do? Yes the boy had run in and saved the day and Magnus’ life by nearly sacrificing his own but that didn’t give Magnus the right to put his hands on him. He had one job, to heal Alec, but the urge to touch him was so overwhelming he couldn’t help himself. It made him sick to see how Alec had pulled away from him, even so much as shuddering when Magnus touched him. Was he that repulsed by him? Did Alec hate him that much?

He heard the water come on in the shower and closed his eyes remembering how Alec would stand under the water letting it cascade down his back, the way he’d moan and smile as Magnus wrapped his arms around him. But Magnus couldn’t do that now. Alec would probably rather plunge a seraph blade through himself than let Magnus hold him again. His morose thoughts were interrupted when his phone began to ring.

“High Warlock of Brooklyn and horrible disgusting monster at your service.”

“Thank the Angel, it’s you!” Magnus frowned at the unintended pun. “We need your help. There was an attack on the institute and Clary and Isabelle are hurt.” Jace said quickly, obviously distraught.

“How bad are they?” He asked.

“I honestly don’t know, it was some kind of magic.”

Magnus went to the cabinet grabbing a bag for supplies. “Alright, call Catarina, she’s the better healer and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He hung up and threw a few potions in the bag before going into the bedroom. Tossing the bag on the bed he knocked on the bathroom door, opening it slightly but without actually going in.

“Alec, we need to hurry. We need to get to the institute, there’s been an attack.”

He’d barely got the words out before the water switched off and Alec opened the door the rest of the way wrapped in nothing but a towel. Magnus looked at his chest briefly then up into his eyes that looked angry and cold and unreachable, so Magnus looked away and made himself busy collecting a few more potions while Alec got dressed.

Not ten minutes later they arrived at the institute and went straight to the infirmary. Catarina was already there leaning over Isabelle. “Did you bring anything useful?” She asked reaching for the bag as Magnus leaned over Clary.

“Depends on what you need.” His hand flitted over Clary’s face gently searching. “Anyone want to tell me what happened here?”

He turned to see Simon standing at the foot of Isabelle’s bed, Alec sat holding her hand and another guy whom he didn’t know, standing behind Alec hovering quietly. Magnus presumed this must be the werewolf Jamie. Jace sat on the opposite side of Clary.

“We were heading back from Taki’s when we reached the steps to the door and an explosion went off.” Simon explained looking from Magnus to Isabelle sadly. “It was strange, like whatever was in it bounced off of me and only hit the girls.”

“Like it was designed specifically for Nephilim.” Magnus confirmed meeting Catarina’s eyes.

“What are you not saying Magnus?” Jace asked agitated.

“This was a dark-bomb.” At the confused looks he explained further. “A sort of magical grenade that can be designed to fit the need of the warlock that created it. Simon, did you see any one around before it went off?”

“Um…there was a creepy guy with claws and black eyes just up the street. Come to think of it he looked kind of like a dinosaur.”

Magnus stood up and looked at Alec, both of them knowing who that sounded like. “Alec, I thought you killed him.”

Alec shook his head. “He ran just as I got a shot off at him.” He then stood up over his sister letting her hand rest on the blanket. “This is all my fault.”

Magnus was about to go over to him when the werewolf grabbed his hand pulling him close. “No Alec, this isn't your fault.” He stood almost pressed against Alec and moved a hand up to cup his face as Alec closed his eyes putting his head down.

“You couldn’t have gotten him. You had to stay with Magnus.” Catarina said moving from Isabelle to Clary, shooing Jace away, holding the bag of potions.

“But if I’d just chased him down and killed him, this wouldn’t have happened.” Alec denied shaking his head but not moving from the other’s embrace.

“Alec’s right. Magnus would’ve been fine without him.” Jamie said to the room, then more quietly to Alec. “Don’t worry, we’ll get that bastard. You and I will find him. He won’t get away with this.”

“I’ve done all I can do for them. There isn’t much left to do now but wait.” Catarina said sitting back with a deep breath.

Magnus’s heart was beating wildly. His eyes caught Catarina’s then Jace’s as he stood quickly to take Magnus’s arm. “We’ll be right back.” Jace called pulling the warlock out the door, down the hall and into another room.

They emerged into the training room of the institute where several targets, punching bags and obstacle courses were set up. Jace stood next to the door as Magnus walked further into the room. Taking a few deep breaths he looked down at the floor closing his eyes. All of the sudden, one at a time, all five punching bags exploded from the inside out causing padding to fall from the air like snowflakes.

Jace jumped at the sound and held his hand over his head to protect from falling debris then walked over to stand casually next to Magnus. “Yeah, I don’t like him either.”

  
Just then Simon walked in with wide eyes. “Um…I knew shadowhunters trained hard, but WOW.”

Magnus shook his head as if to clear it. He wasn’t a teenager anymore, no matter how much he looked it. There had to be a responsible, adult, nonviolent way to handle this, it was just at the moment he couldn’t think of one. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. We needed to get new equipment anyway.” Jace said kicking at a piece of chain next to his feet. “This Jamie guy has thrown a wrench in my plans. There has to be a way to get rid of him.”

“Yeah, he said that Lethal Soufflé was a bad name for my band and that I should rethink my life goals. I agree, he’s gotta go.” Simon said indignantly.

“You know, I didn’t think there would ever be anyone I wanted to kill more than you, not until now.” Magnus said cracking his fingers and Simon’s eyes widened in fear.

  
“I appreciate that.” Jace said.

“I don’t think it was meant to be a compliment.” Simon countered warily.

“But it is. It’s a testament to how much he loves Alec and that up to this point, he cared enough to not kill me.” Jace walked up putting his hand on Magnus’ shoulder only to remove it when Magnus scowled at him.

Simon rolled his eyes. “Sometimes your logic is just illogical.”

“Don’t be daft Simon. Magnus perceives Jamie as a threat to his relationship with Alec. I perceive Jamie as a threat by taking my brother and parabatai away and you…it wouldn’t hurt to rethink your life goals.”

Simon smiled sarcastically and Jace winked back.

“Well if we can’t kill him, what do we do about him?” Magnus pondered aloud.

“We fight fire with fire.” Jace smiled.


	18. Meeting

Magnus POV

Magnus spent the next several hours in the infirmary with Catarina watching over the girls. It was where he was most needed and he figured it gave him time to work out what his next move would be. He, Jace and Simon had discussed and agreed to work together to eliminate the werewolf, a mission Simon liked to call, Operation Dog Pound. Admittedly Magnus did feel a mite foolish working with a vampire and a shadowhunter to win back his boyfriend. It all seemed rather childish but when he thought about it, Alec was worth fighting for. Magnus just had to be smart about it.

He’d watched earlier as Jamie had used Alec’s weakness to make him feel Magnus wasn’t important, unconsciously putting that seed of doubt in his mind. It worried him because if Jamie was successful, that seed would make its way to Alec’s heart, effectively ripping his love from him forever.

Now he sat alone in a rickety chair between the two sleeping female shadowhunters, essentially hoping for a miracle for all of them. His thoughts were interrupted as Alec came in and made his way over to Isabelle.

“How is she?” He asked holding her hand lightly.

“She’ll be fine. They both will. They just need rest. The magic in that explosive was meant to weaken them substantially so they couldn’t heal. Lucky for them, they’re friends with a couple of warlocks.” He smiled at the two sleeping girls.

“I know you don’t have to do this…but you do anyway. You have no idea how thankful we are for you.” Alec spoke quietly.

Without warning he walked over between the beds and held a hand down to Magnus who took it and slowly stood up. When Alec didn’t let go but clasped it tighter between his staring down at them, Magnus waited, knowing Alec was searching for words.

“I’m sorry Magnus, for everything.” Magnus made to speak but Alec held up a hand. “Let me finish, please.” With a nod he continued. “I’ve made so many mistakes, done…so many things I can’t take back and I want so badly…to make everything alright.” he paused and took a deep breath before looking up to meet Magnus’ eyes, “I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”

Magnus felt light headed. He wasn’t quite sure where this was going. Alec was always one to apologize for things that he either just felt responsible for or for something that wasn’t entirely his fault, both of which were traits that made Magnus love him more. But he knew this apology was leading up to one of two things; _‘I’m sorry and I want to make things right with you because I love you’ or ‘I’m sorry but I’ve moved on with the werewolf’._

Unable to help himself Magnus moved the last bit forward that separated them and cupped Alec’s cheek in his palm. Alec breathed out a shaky sigh and leaned into his hand closing his eyes and Magnus almost leaned in, but using a huge amount of self-restraint, he stopped there. It was possible his hunter was just searching for comfort and he didn't want to over-step his bounds. He wouldn’t kiss him until Alec told him he wanted it. There was no way he would make the mistake of pressuring him. “Alexander, what do you want?”

Alec opened his eyes, bright blue, shining, loving eyes that looked back at Magnus so tenderly. His gaze dropped to Magnus’ lips and he began to lean forward, “I want…” he began but held silent as he leaned the rest of the way forward, toward Magnus, until the doors opened and Alec pulled back, moving out of his reach.

Catarina and Jamie came into the room, Cat with a small knowing smile on her lips and Jamie stiff and trying for neutral, but succeeding on instead what Magnus thought looked constipated.

“Sorry to interrupt but Alec, Jace is asking for you.” Catarina relayed.

“Yeah…um…thanks.” He mumbled and without making eye contact with anyone left the room.

“And then there were three.” Jamie quipped earning himself a glare from Magnus.

“Actually, I have to leave. You know, I’ve got a job and a life and all that.” Catarina said and winked at Magnus. “Shoot me a message when these two wake up and call me if you need anything.” Her words echoed as she walked away and finally disappeared out the door.

“And then there were…”

“Don’t.” Magnus barked putting up a hand. He had no patience for stupidity or ignorance or werewolves who were trying to steal away the love of his life.

“You know, I don’t understand you.” Jamie said and began walking in a wide circle around Magnus running his hand over the bed posts as he went, almost as if circling his prey Magnus thought. “I mean, I understand why you’re here. You still love Alec and hope to win him back. But what I don’t understand is why you don’t just give up,” he stopped across the room from Magnus looking him dead in the eyes, “because you won’t win.”

Magnus shook his head. “You see that’s your problem. You think this is a game that needs to be won, but it’s not. Its Alec’s happiness…it’s his life you’re playing with…and Alec is _my life._ ”

“Correction! Alec _was_ your life, but he’s not anymore. Now he’s mine.” Jamie asserted taking a step forward. “Now he goes home with me every night.” He moved another step forward. “I get to hear him laugh. I get to see his smile.” Another step. “I know the way he feels under my hands.” Another step. “I know how _sweet_ he tastes.” Another step. “I hear the sounds he makes…”

He doesn’t get to finish because Magnus’s fist connects with his jaw so hard it sends him flying backwards over a spare bed and onto the floor. Magnus lets out a quick breath and nods to himself in congratulations on a job well done just as Jamie stands up wiping the blood from his lip. His eyes glow a bright green and his claws extend as he rounds the bed toward Magnus who is standing ready to defend himself when a voice cuts through the room.

“ _That’s enough!_ ” Isabelle is standing behind Magnus seraph blade in hand. Magnus briefly wonders if they keep those things under their pillows as she moves to stand in front of him. “I think it’s time for you to leave Jamie.”

“But Alec…”

“Alec is his own man and will leave when he wants to.” She pointed the blade toward the door and with a last glance at Magnus, Jamie left the room.

There was an awkward silence as Magnus turned to stare at an exhausted Isabelle who didn’t look impressed.

“And how are you feeling my dear?” Magnus questioned nonchalantly.

“Like I just got blown up.” She remarked taking a seat on the bed and Magnus had to raise his eyebrows in complete agreement of her statement.

“Well, I should apologize for waking you with all this excitement.” He sat beside her leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling.

“No, he deserved what he got. I had a bad feeling about that one from the moment I met him.”

“But that doesn’t change anything. He still has Alec’s ear.” Magnus admitted wanly.

“But you have his heart.” Isabelle grabbed his hand. “Now we just have to find a way to make him realize he can’t live without you.”

“I have to head back. I’ve a client waiting for me.” He stood and smiled down at her. “You’ll be alright?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you later.” She smiled back brightly and he stared at her for a moment. He realized her smile was suddenly his lifeline and he was holding on for dear life.


	19. Stay

Alec POV

Today felt never-ending as Alec walked into Jace’s room to find him looking out the window. He had a strange look on his face and jumped slightly when he turned to see Alec standing in his doorway. “By the Angel Alec! When did you get so sneaky?” He turned to pull the curtains closed quickly then moved across the room.

“Sorry. You wanted to see me?” He quirked an eyebrow at his parabatai’s peculiar behavior but dismissed it as stress.

Jace hesitated a moment. “So how’ve you been? I mean, is there anything new going on in your life…anything you want to talk about?”

Alec looked to the side with confusion then back at Jace uncertainly. “Not that I know of. Should there be?”

“Well, I thought, maybe you and the werewolf might…”

“Jamie?” Alec stood perplexed then flushed from his neck up. “He’s uh good…I mean nice and all but…” His hand went to rub the back of his neck.

“I just wondered because, I care about you…and I know you care about Magnus.” Alec closed his eyes and Jace cursed loudly. “Hell, I care about Magnus…but if you tell anyone I said that I’ll call you a liar.”

Alec laughed and rolled his eyes. “So you’re Team Magnus?”

“Well, there can’t be a Team Jace anymore so if I just had to pick…” He complained lightly drawing another laugh out of his brother.

After a beat they stopped smiling and looked at each other. “It’s just…things are different now.” Alec shook his head deep in thought.

“Yeah. I know things are different and I want you to know I respect that, I respect you no matter what decision you make.”

“Thank you. Did you actually need something or did you just want to talk?”

“Actually, I was hoping you could do me a favor.” Jace seemed nervous, looking down at his shoes while wringing his hands, which was totally out of character for him.

“Hey, we’re family, I would do anything for you.” Alec put his hand on his shoulder gripping it tightly. “What do you need?”

“Could you stay here? Just for a few days until the girls get better? It’s just me now and I can’t hunt and train and guard the institute and the girls and Magnus all by myself with this crazy warlock after all of us. I need you.” Jace ended softly, looking up into Alec’s eyes.

Alec was stunned. Jace never admitted weakness, it went against his strict _I’m-a-bad-ass_ moral code, yet here he was asking for his help. The urge to protect his family swelled through him so profoundly he felt like a balloon that was about to pop and he found himself nodding before the words ever left his mouth. “Of course I’ll stay. I’m here for you. Always.”

They moved in to hug and Alec held on tightly. Jace needed him. His family needed him. He hoped Magnus needed him. Right then he realized that no matter what was happening in his life, he would always put them first. With one last tight squeeze he pulled back and smiled at his parabatai.

“I’m going to head back to my apartment and pack up some clothes. I’ll be back soon.”


	20. Plan

Jace POV

Alec left and Jace went back to the window. He scanned the area for the werewolf and not seeing him, watched as Alec walked out into the street towards his apartment, then he quickly turned around. “Phone, phone…where’s my _phone?!_ ” He bellowed then gracefully, because that’s just how he is, he leapt over the bed and yanked open his dresser drawer, snatching the phone successfully in his hand and dialed.

“ _Simon!_ Operation Dog Pound is a go! I need you to run to Alec’s apartment like… _right now_ , and bang on his door and demand he stop whatever it is he’s doing with that werewolf scum. If he asks what you’re doing there, tell him that I was worried about him and sent you over.”

There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment. “And why would I do that?”

Jace practically jumped up and down in his impatience with the vampire. “ _Because!_ ” He took a breath before continuing, this time trying again at a lower octave. “Because…he agreed to stay at the institute until the girls got better and he’s gone to pack a bag but if werewolf boy tries to talk him out of it…”

“Say no more my brother-from-another-mother, Simon is on the job.”

Jace stared confused at the phone wondering what the hell that meant then shrugged and dialed another number.

“ _Magnus!_ I need you to cancel anything you have planned for the next three days and come back to the institute.”

Jace heard loud squealing noises in the background followed by a huge bang as Magnus cursed amid the chaos. “ _Ah! What?_ And why would I do that?”

He felt he was about to lose his mind if anyone asked him that again and paced the room with fervor. “Because…” he said practically gritting his teeth, “Alec is staying at the institute until the girls are better and it would be in your best interest to make an appearance as often as possible so you can see him, werewolf free.”

Another loud squeal sounded and Magnus yelled, _“Blast you infernal creatures!”_ before returning to the phone. “Right, give me time to take care of the flamingos…who…appear to have become somewhat rabid, and I will see you soon.”

Jace hung up feeling quite accomplished. But there was still one more thing to do. Quickly he ran down the hall turning a sharp corner and down some stairs before bursting into the infirmary.

 _“Izzy! Clary!”_ He whisper screamed. _“Are you awake?”_

“Yes you daft fool, we’re awake.” She and Clary were propped up against the headboards of their beds as Jace skidded to a stop in front of them.

“Right, I need you to _not_ get better, very slowly, like…let’s say a week.” He gesticulated wildly toward them as he spoke trying to get his point across but with too much enthusiasm. Being a mastermind was terribly draining he realized.

“And why would we do that?” Izzy asked and Jace’s eyes almost exploded out of his head.

Clary watched as he leaned down to put his hands on his knees and take several deep breaths. “I think he’s hyperventilating.” She commented but didn’t move to help.

“Look… _ladies_. I’ve convinced Alec to come stay _here_ and help while you two get better, to which you have to _very slowly_ heal so he will have to stay _longer_ , to which I will have Magnus woo the _socks_ off of him every day so he won’t _want_ to leave, otherwise he will run back to werewolf boy and we all _lose_.” Jace addressed each point with an excited stress that was almost humorous.

Izzy glanced at Clary with a smile. “Jace, you do realize that Alec hasn’t lived here for quite a while? That he was in fact living with Magnus for several months before all of this.”

“Yes, but I still got to see him every day then, and I can tolerate Magnus but I _cannot_ tolerate this Jamie guy. There’s just something about him…” His face had scrunched up into an angry gargoyle shape and Clary giggled.

“Alright…fine. We will continue to play dead…but…you need to clue Magnus in on this so he can corroborate our slow heal. It wouldn’t do for Alec to find out that we’re all just a bunch of manipulating manipulators who manipulate.”

Jace smiled brightly and nodded. He was a genius. So phase one was in action, it was time to get ready for phase two.


	21. Touch

Alec POV

Alec was happy. For the first time in so long he felt like someone needed him, needed his protection, his strength. This is what he was supposed to do and he was good at it. He would do anything for his family and right now they needed him. Then he frowned. 

Alec was sad. His sister and Clary had gotten hurt. He knew it was his fault. All he had to do was kill the warlock but he didn’t. This had him questioning himself. Did he make the right decision to stay with Magnus or should he have gone after the warlock instead? Then he sighed. 

Alec was confused. What did he want? That’s the question Magnus asked him in the infirmary. Alec knew at that moment he’d wanted Magnus, but is that what he meant? Was he leaving it up to Alec to decide what happened between them? He thought back to the moments they’ve had since seeing each other again and remembered how Magnus had pulled away from him in the bedroom after healing him and how he’s been keeping his distance since then. Alec even tried closing in on him in the infirmary before they were interrupted. He really wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be doing when it came to Magnus and vaguely wondered if he should even continue to try. 

Alec was surprised he’d already made it to his apartment. Upon entering he grabbed a bag from the closet and began tossing random clothes into it when he heard a knock behind him. Jamie stood leaning against the door frame with a frown.

“Hey. I’m just packing a bag to go stay at the institute for a few days. You okay?” Alec asked moving to the bed to shove the clothes further into the bag. 

“Not really. Can we talk?” 

When Alec nodded Jamie pushed the door shut behind him and locked it with a click while Alec zipped up his bag. 

Jamie reached out and grabbed Alec’s hand pulling him forward. “I’m sorry, for everything.” 

Alec frowned. “You shouldn’t be. None of this is your fault.” 

“But I feel useless, like I can’t do anything for you while all this is going on. I want to be there for you and I don’t know how.” 

Jamie’s eyes drooped with sadness and Alec hated to see his friend upset. Cupping his face with a hand Alec smiled. “But you are there for me, every time I need you you’re there. I couldn’t ask for anything more.” He moved to step away but Jamie gripped his arms. 

“I want to give you more.” A hand moved over Alec’s hip pulling him closer. “Alec, please, let me give you more.” 

Alec was startled how quickly Jamie leaned in to kiss him, immediately thrusting his tongue deep into Alec’s mouth possessively and it had him pulling away slightly. “Jamie…I don’t know if I should….”

Jamie shook his head but still held onto Alec’s hips knowing what the problem was. “Magnus isn’t here.” A pause. “He isn’t what you think he is Alec. He’s just comfort. You want him back because you’re comfortable with him.” Another pause. “He hasn’t told you he wants you Alec. But I want you.”

He leaned in again taking Alec’s lips into another vigorous kiss not giving Alec a chance to reply. His hands moved over his back flattening him against Jamie’s hard body while simultaneously pushing him onto the bed behind him. 

Alec knew Jamie was right. Magnus wasn’t around and he hadn’t shown any interest in a relationship with Alec. But Jamie was here. Jamie was kissing him. Jamie wanted to be with him. So Alec moved his lips returning the kiss. 

Jamie broke away and moved his mouth down Alec’s neck pulling his shirt over his head. “You can be comfortable with me.” With werewolf strength he pushed in closer, grinding his thigh between Alec’s legs and gripping a handful of his hair. Jamie’s lips skimmed over Alec’s neck to his ear causing him to moan softly. “Alec, I can make you feel so good.” He then pushed his hand low, raking it down Alec’s chest, across his abs to rest over his jean covered erection. “Let me make you feel good Alec.” 

Alec’s breaths were coming more quickly now, closing his eyes while the werewolf peppered kisses over his chest stopping at his nipple, tugging at it with his teeth making Alec hiss. “Jamie…” He murmured as Jamie’s hand began undoing his belt, unsure if he wanted him to stop. A sharp banging on the door caused Alec to bolt up pushing Jamie off of him. 

“Alec!” Bang, bang, bang. “Alec open up!” 

“You have got to be kidding me.” Jamie muttered as Alec got up opening the door. 

Simon stood on the other side looking terribly uncomfortable staring back at a shirtless Alec with his pants unbuttoned. 

“Hey…um, Alec uh…Jace asked me to come make sure you made it back okay.” Simon averted his eyes which landed straight on Jamie who sat on the bed behind Alec. 

“Yeah I was just getting around.” Alec ran a hand nervously over the back of his neck. 

“I’ll get your bag.” Simon volunteered and pushed past Alec to step into the room. “Jamie.” He said by way of greeting before tossing Alec his shirt. 

Alec slipped his shirt and jacket on and buckled his pants while Simon waited patiently, not moving from his spot at the foot of the bed. 

Jamie stood and walked over to Alec reaching up to touch his face. “How long will you be gone?”

“I don’t know.” Alec replied moving Jamie’s hand and letting it fall. 

Simon cleared his throat getting the other’s attention. “We don’t want to keep them waiting. I want to get back and check on the girls.” 

Jamie gave him a dirty look before turning on his heel and stalking out of the room. Simon held a blank expression but went out into the hall as Alec closed and locked the door behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Need sleep. Will finish uploading tomorrow. Thanks for reading!


	22. Team Magnus

Magnus POV

Jace had scheduled a pow-wow of sorts for everyone in the infirmary that evening. This is where Magnus found himself sitting in the same rickety chair watching Jace pace the room with his hand on his chin pretending to think while Clary and Isabelle sat eating tubs of Ben and Jerry’s he’d conjured for them. They were waiting patiently, and he used the term lightly, on Simon to return with hopefully successful news.

Finally the vampire walked through the door and Magnus hadn’t realized he was holding his breath until Simon gave a thumbs up and he exhaled. “He’s in his old room. But it was a really close call, when I got there Jamie had Alec half naked with the door locked so I had to beat on it until…” He cut off when he noticed Magnus was sitting at the back of the room. Everyone was silent and Magnus closed his eyes trying to will away the mental image Simon had just blessed him with.

“Well he won’t be there long so let’s get this over with.” Jace announced waving Simon over to join the group then slapping him in the back of the head muttering _‘stupid’_ under his breath. “So I’ve developed a four step plan that will not fail.”

“Let’s hope not.” Clary mused aloud and Jace waved her off.

“It won’t. Now the steps are Configuration, Separation, Manipulation and Extermination.” He held up his fingers as he spoke. “Configuration is getting Alec where we want him, which is at the institute, which we’ve already done and not to brag, but with great skill and effort on my part, we’ve also simultaneously completed Separation by removing the werewolf from the equation.”

“For now.” Clary mused again this time getting a glare from Jace.

“Such a Negative Nancy.” Simon said under his breath.

“So our next step is Manipulation. This is where the girls take forever to get better, and Magnus will be my back-up on this that the explosion has slowed their healing and you can’t reverse the effects, they just have to wear off, leaving you two useless.” He surmised. “Next is mine and Simon’s work where we plant our own seeds in Alec about how bad Jamie is and how if he screws around too much Magnus will never take him back.”

Simon nodded his head then turned to Jace looking worried. “Wait…what?”

“Hopefully you don’t word it that way when you actually speak to Alec.” Clary suggested which had Simon nodding again.

“And I’d rather neither of you go planting your seeds inside my boyfriend. And he will be my boyfriend again.” Magnus declared.

“I don’t think he ever stopped.” Isabelle smiled at him reassuringly.

“Back on track people.” Jace grumbled. “The whole time all this is going on, Magnus, you will be using your every while, trick, magic spell, potion and curse if need be, to make Alec fall back in love with you.”

“Can’t I just use charm?” Magnus queried.

“Charms are good too but Alec doesn’t even carry a keychain so good luck.”

The familiar urge to strangle the blonde was coming back, Magnus thought. “Not magical charms you fool. I’m going to be charming and romantic. Something I’ve been told I’ve quite an aptitude for.”

Clary rolled her eyes. “So what about Extermination?”

“I thought that step was pretty self-explanatory.” Jace said quite seriously.

“I like it.” Isabelle tilted her head smirking.

“We can’t just put him down.” Clary argued.

“Like the dog he is.” Jace proclaimed.

“But seriously, if we do this right. We could win. Team Magnus is going to win!” Simon exclaimed holding out his hand face down.

Clary put her hand over his and Isabelle followed. Jace grinned widely and put his hand in. Magnus shook his head and stepped forward laying his hand on top of theirs. “I just want it known that for the record, you’re all insane.” He smiled and tightened his hand over theirs.

“Team Magnus.” Simon said looking at everyone and on three they raised their hands in the air with a yell.


	23. You're There

** Alec POV **

It was crazy how much he’d actually missed being in the institute.  Walking down the hall his mind ran memories through his mind like an old-fashioned slideshow with images of him and his siblings training, studying and playing.  Those were the good days, before everything had gone to shit.  He deemed that era pre-Clary.  It probably wasn’t fair to her but he couldn’t help but agree with how accurate it was.  His train of thought was interrupted when he reached the infirmary doors and pushed them open to find his siblings, the vampire and Magnus sitting around chatting amicably. 

He paused momentarily watching their reactions.  Jace smiled brightly leaning backwards on his chair with grace only a shadowhunter could pull off while Simon and Magnus exchanged quirky looks before settling on neutral.  Isabelle raised an eyebrow and put a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth while Clary put the lid back on hers sitting it to the side looking slightly guilty. 

The feeling of not being wanted or needed settled over him again like a weight sitting on his chest.  “Is there a reason I wasn’t invited to the party?” 

“Nope.  No party.  I was about to physically force the vampire out after he continued to relentlessly flirt with our sister, callously disregarding her serious illness.”  Jace said and Alec glared across the room at Simon just as Jace shoved Magnus back into his chair when he stood up to leave.  “Magnus has to do regular checks on them and upon hearing about Simon’s appalling behavior, got them ice cream to ease their woes.”

“Lucky them.”  Alec said still glaring at Simon while Jace glared at Magnus.

“Anyway, I’ll let Glitter Boy here update you on their progress while Simon and I find the front door.” 

Alec looked over to Magnus before turning to the girls.  “So how are they doing?”  His eyes darted between the girls who were now both lying back on their beds looking drowsy. 

Magnus stood, staring at Alec.  “They’ve gotten over the physical side effects but not the magical ones.”  He walked over to Clary and ran his hand over her eyes murmuring something under his breath causing her to fall back into her pillow in a deep sleep.  “This type of magic is unpredictable and must be regulated, which cuts into my regular schedule for at least the next week,” he sighs and runs his hand over Isabelle’s eyes as well, “but it’s worth it.” 

Alec felt like Magnus wanted to say more but was holding back, he instead focused his attention on the girls and pulling their blankets up to their shoulders. 

“So what are you doing here Alexander?  I figured you’d be with your new boyfriend, what was his name…Jeremy?”  He wasn’t rude when he said it, only curious sounding.    

Alec frowned meeting Magnus’s eyes.  “Jamie, and he’s not my boyfriend.” 

This was something he’d never considered about Magnus.  Yes, he’d been distant when Alec had approached him recently but Alec thought it was because Magnus just didn’t want him.  Was Magnus jealous?    

“Well someone should probably tell the werewolf that.”  He said moving over and stopping next to Alec then spoke before Alec could reply.  “Alexander, may I walk you to your room?” 

He nodded and they left the infirmary, quietly shutting the door behind them.  Almost casually they strolled the hallways in what Alec thought was an anxious uncertainty.  A part of him wanted to just grab Magnus and kiss him until he couldn’t breathe while the other part of him wanted to ask Magnus straight out if he wanted him anymore and shake him until he answered.  He huffed slightly noticing that both options got right to the heart of the matter quickly, which is exactly what he wanted to do, a sense of clearing the air so he could breathe again.  All too quickly they were standing at his bedroom door and he realized that they hadn’t spoken a single word to each other the whole way, Magnus probably allowing Alec space and time to think. 

Turning the knob he opened the door and made to move in but turned back.  Magnus was standing staring up at him, his yellow-green eyes almost glowing in the darkness that shrouded him.  Alec felt as if he were drowning in his eyes.  He suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe and clenched his hand into a fist then released it.  By the Angel but Magnus was gorgeous. 

When Alec continued to remain silent, Magnus shifted and the hint of a frown touched his lips briefly before disappearing. 

“Well…goodnight Alexander.” 

He’d said it so softly under his breath that Alec almost didn’t hear it, then he turned to leave.  A sharp tug to his heart made him reach out with shadowhunter speed and grip Magnus’s arm holding him in place. 

“I…If you aren’t busy, I’d like you to join me…I mean we could talk…if you want.  Please.”  That came out real smooth Alec his inner monologue chided. 

“Of course.”  Magnus said and allowed himself to be pulled into the room.  Alec didn’t let go of his arm until the door was shut behind them.

His heart was beating so fast.  What if he screwed this up?  What if Magnus was just being polite?  What if he didn’t want him anymore?  He pushed those thoughts aside and instead found himself staring at the warlock’s lips.  They were such wonderful lips.  He really wanted to kiss him.  He felt panic set in again and put his hand over his chest.  What if Magnus didn’t want to kiss him?  What if he kissed Magnus and didn’t feel anything anymore? 

“Alec?” 

Magnus’s worried expression stared back at him and he looked down to his shoes while moving his arm to rub the back of his neck.  Get it together, he thought to himself. 

“How have you been?”  Alec was ready to willingly jump into a black hole at that moment.  Of all the things he could’ve said and he asked that. 

Magnus blinked a few times before politely answering.  “I’ve been well Alexander, thank you.  How have you been?” 

“I can’t stop thinking about you.”  He blurted out.  His verbal vomit was coming up and there was nothing he could do to stop it.  “It’s insanity, no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get you out of my head.  When I close my eyes, _you’re there_.  When I’m hunting, _you’re there_.  It’s driving me crazy and I don’t know what to do!”  His voice had gotten louder as he spoke and his hand ran through his hair roughly in his frustration.

Magnus stood silently, again just blinking those beautiful golden eyes.  “Well, I’m sorry thoughts of me have brought you so much pain…” 

Hearing those words made him snap.  Magnus didn’t understand at all and Alec was determined to get his point through one way or another.  Quickly he placed his hands on Magnus’s shoulders and pushed him the short distance until his back hit the closed door.


	24. The Rush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is what I believe everyone calls 'smut' or 'slash' in this chapter. I think those two terms mean sex. So mature content. Thanks!

** Magnus POV              **

It would be an understatement to say that Magnus had been anticipating this moment more than anything in his life, so when Alec began expressing how he felt, it both broke the warlock’s heart and made it swell with so much love he thought he’d fall over.  He knew that his Nephilim still loved him, otherwise he wouldn’t still think of him, it was just a matter of who he loved more, him or the werewolf.  Alec was staring, his angelic blue eyes begging Magnus to do or to say something but he wasn’t sure what, so he apologized.  Somewhere in the middle of that he was pushed back against the door. 

Alec’s scent enveloped him quickly, strong and musky.  His lips then covered Magnus’s gently.  Magnus moaned surrendering to the kiss, allowing Alec to take control.  After a few moments Magnus shifted and went to pull away but Alec wasn’t having any of it and claimed his lips again, this time with more pressure, his hands squeezing painfully at his waist.  This was different.  He knew Alec would never hurt him and when Alec suddenly pressed his whole body into Magnus, sandwiching him between the door and his hard body, it was different, it was _exciting_.  His lips were now punishing against Magnus’s, and when Magnus tried again to push him back, Alec grasped his wrist gently pinning it against the wall. 

Magnus was torn.  His body was on fire for Alec, quickly responding to the rough, frenzied feeling of each other they’d been without for so long, but he also knew this wouldn’t help.  They had to talk.  He tried once again to break the kiss and was successful, partially. 

“Alec…Al…mmmmmh, _Alexander_.” 

He got nowhere.  Apparently his brain was now mush.  All he could focus on was Alec’s mouth that now sucked and nipped at his sensitive neck, probably leaving bruises, and Alec’s strong hands that had somehow started roaming under his shirt and down to his belt which was already undone.  He heard the zip of his pants and threw his head back as Alec’s warm hand found his erection, gripping him tightly while sucking on one of his pert nipples. 

“ _Oh God, Alexander_!”   

Magnus gripped Alec’s arms, holding on tightly to both his Nephilim and this feeling.  Alec’s head came up to claim Magnus’s lips once again as his hand began to move quickly, his grip tight, like he was trying to pull an orgasm from Magnus by force.  “ _I want you_.”  He whispered against Magnus’s lips as his hand moved over him faster, harder while still holding the warlock against the door with his body.  “Magnus…” he whispered, “Look at me.”  Magnus tore his eyes open to stare into Alec’s bright blue lust filled ones just as he leaned in to whisper once again against his mouth.  “I want you Magnus.”  Those words did him in.  With a deep groan of Alec’s name Magnus’s back arched and his vision went dark, his orgasm erupting all over Alec’s hand and the floor.  For a few moments Alec continued to stroke him causing his body to spasm with aftershocks of both pain and pleasure before removing his hand and softly kissing him. 

Magnus was shaking and completely exhausted, he sagged against Alec who moved to wrap his arms around the warlock and sit him on the bed.  Alec placed a single kiss to his forehead then went to the restroom, coming back a few minutes later with a wet rag to clean the mess.  Magnus could’ve done it for him with a snap of his fingers but instead chose to watch, taking the time to slow his breathing and adjust his clothes. 

What in the hell just happened?  This hadn’t been what he was expecting at all from the young shadowhunter when he’d agreed to come into his room.  Alec was never this direct, but then again, he’d been gone for several months and was bound to change some things about himself.  Not that Magnus was complaining, he just imagined the order of events to be somewhat different. 

Alec threw the rag into a hamper in the corner and sat next to him taking his hand and holding it.  For a few long minutes he just stared at their intertwined fingers.  When Alec finally spoke it wasn’t at all what he wanted or expected to hear. 

“I’m sorry.  Magnus, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”  He said still looking down at their hands.

Magnus tensed, his whole body going ramrod straight.  What the hell was going on?  Had he just been _used_?  He certainly felt used.  Never in his wildest dreams would he expect Alec, the Alec he thought he knew anyway, to do something like that.  Yes, he’d noticed the subtle changes in the shadowhunter but he didn’t think the man had turned into this.  Quickly he untangled their fingers and stood up moving as far as possible across the room.      

“I see.”  He kept his back to the shadowhunter, his heart quickly feeling shriveled to nothing.  “So I’m just your relief from what you didn’t get to finish earlier with your werewolf.”  He snapped back, unable to keep the anger and pain that was welling up inside him hidden.  He felt sick. 

“What…NO!”  Alec stood sounding shocked and wounded but Magnus was beyond pity.  He turned back to face the shadowhunter waiting for an answer but when Alec did respond his heart broke further.  “It’s not...how did you even know…?”  He trailed off unsure what to say.

“Oh Simon gave graphic insight into your other activities once he got back, much to my dismay.” 

Alec blanched and stared at the floor looking pale.  He seemed more upset that he’d been called out over being with the werewolf rather than telling Magnus this had been an unfortunate accident.  Magnus shook his head and moved to stand next to him but didn’t dare reach out to touch him.   

“Alec, I love you.  I’ve always loved you and will probably continue to do so, but I _won’t_ share you, and I _refuse_ to be second to anyone else.  Now I will wait, but you have to make a decision.”  When Alec didn’t look up but just stood staring at his shoes Magnus ran a hand over his face and sighed.  This was absolute insanity.  It was killing him, the ups and downs he was going through and right at that moment, he couldn’t take any more.  “Goodnight Alexander.”  And with that he left the room pulling the door shut behind him.                      


	25. My Bad

** Alec POV **

Oh Angel, what had he done?  After Magnus had left Alec felt lost and dirty and angry all at once.  All he wanted was for Magnus to come back so he could explain but what was he supposed to say exactly?  ‘ _Magnus look, I like Jamie but I love you.  All we’ve done is make out but I wouldn’t have done that if you would just take me back_.’  Way to make the man you love feel like he’s the reason you almost slept with someone else.  But Magnus was right to feel how he did.  Though it wasn’t his intention, Alec had in a roundabout way, made him second fiddle to Jamie, literally within hours of each other.  He was officially the most horrible person on the planet.  He didn’t deserve Magnus’s love.  He didn’t deserve anything.

Sleep didn’t come that night.  The next day was spent working diligently next to Jace in an effort to keep his mind focused on something besides a glittery warlock.  Jace kept hinting that Alec should go take a break and check on the girls but he didn’t want to chance running into Magnus, to see the pain and anger in his beautiful eyes, so he stayed put with the promise that he would check on them later. 

Another day went by in the same fashion and Alec was beginning to feel despondent.  Jace had left him to his own devices well enough but it seemed all he could talk about was Magnus.  How Magnus was doing such a good job taking care of the girls.  How Magnus was helping with the search for the rogue warlock.  How Magnus had asked how Alec was doing.  “Wait, what?”  Alec asked perplexed.

He and Jace were walking along the river on their way back to the institute.  The night was perfect and peaceful and the raid they anticipated ended up being a false alarm which pleased him immensely.  The less dirt and ichor he was covered in the better. 

“I said Magnus asked how you were doing since you’ve been back at the institute.”  Jace repeated picking up a stone and skipping it easily six times over the dark, placid water. 

“What did you tell him?” 

“That you were doing what you came to do.  That you were working and protecting the institute until things got back to normal.” 

To Alec it sounded like an accusation but Jace continued walking as if it were nothing.  Maybe it was because Alec felt guilty for so many things, not visiting his sister and Clary being one of many lately.  He’d also been avoiding Jamie’s calls.  He wasn’t sure what to say to either man which further confused the conundrum he was already in.  He wanted to talk to Magnus but realized he had just pushed him further away, and he wanted to tell Jamie he wanted Magnus but hadn’t on the off chance Magnus decided that Alec wasn’t what he wanted after all.  So in a nut shell, he was getting nowhere quickly and was initially stuck in a self-induced, circle of lust and lies.

Just then the sound of a scream broke the still silence of the night.  Both he and Jace ran as fast as they could and was shocked when they turned the corner to find a young fey girl fighting off a warlock, a warlock that Alec noticed immediately. 

“Jace, it’s him!”  He yelled taking off without looking to see if Jace was following. 

He ran several blocks, twisting and turning through alleys before stopping in the middle of an old junkyard.  Silently he pulled a seraph blade, its glow lighting up the dim fog that hovered in the dark and moved between the stacks of smashed cars.  A noise ahead made him change direction momentarily until he saw a cat hidden under a stack of tires.  He searched the whole junkyard zigzagging between every row of cars before realizing Jace wasn’t with him, that he was very much alone and began to retrace his steps.  Reaching the front of the junkyard he put away his seraph blade and turned to check behind him one more time, hoping to spot the warlock.  Seeing nothing he turned to leave but was hit with a bolt of red magic sending him spinning to the ground.  He quickly rolled back to his feet reaching for his seraph blade but the warlock was gone again.  Very carefully he left the area and ran back to where he left Jace.


	26. Trust Me

** Magnus POV **

There was absolutely nothing on the television.  Not that he was watching it anyway, he was more lost in thoughts, thoughts that were making his body hurt and his stomach roll.  After that night with Alec, he’d gone from feeling blissfully sated to used and dirty within minutes.  His subconscious wasn’t helping any since it was warring over telling Alec to get lost because he was tired of playing games and just kidnapping the shadowhunter, tying him to his bed and keeping him there until he agreed to love him forever and never leave him again, both actually doable but neither a particularly good idea.

He’d relayed only some of the events of that evening to Jace and the girls who were wondering why Alec had gone into hiding.  The excuse ‘we had an argument’ was incredibly vague but with enough properly placed group-appropriate words, he had them understanding and even trying to figure out how the new problem could be rectified.  Magnus supposed he could get over his pride and let it go but that still didn’t solve anything.    

He snapped his fingers again changing the channel when he heard a bang and felt a push at his magic knowing it had to be one of the Nephilim because no one else could get through his wards.  With a sigh he snapped off the television and moved to get up and greet his guest. 

Jace came barreling through and stopped when he saw Magnus.  “Are you alright?”  He asked looking around the loft.

“Yes.  Are you alright?”  Magnus returned, watching the shadowhunter release the tension in his body then tilt his head in a way that made him wonder what was on his mind. 

“I’m good,” he answered then turned to go to the kitchen.  Reaching up he slipped a knife from the butchers block and headed across the room toward Magnus, “but you’re being attacked.”    

Magnus took a worried step back expecting demons to come rushing through the door just as Jace passed him, only to instead watch the shadowhunter grab the bottom of his couch and flip it over.  “I need you…to trust me…on this.”  He panted as he proceeded to smash the television, dump a side table and all its contents onto the rug and shatter the glass from another table spreading it across the floor with his boot.  He stood to the side eyeing his handy-work before turning back to Magnus who stood astounded. 

“Have you some medication I can fetch for you?”    

His answer was a punch to the face sending him falling backwards into the shards of glass.  He angrily looked up at the Nephilim and raised an already bloody hand to wipe the blood from his jaw. 

“Please Magnus, don’t fight back.  Though it’s being slightly altered, this is all part of the plan.”  Jace scolded as he landed another punch to the warlock’s mouth. 

Magnus shook his head trying to clear it when Jace slashed him across the chest with the knife.  He screamed and shoved at him which caused them to roll on the floor all arms and legs, until Jace ended up back on top.  “Magnus stop struggling, you’re only making this worse.” 

Magnus shoved at him again and threw a bolt of magic which just whizzed past Jace’s head hitting the ceiling causing plaster to rain down over them covering them in white dust.  “ _Worse_!  You’re trying to _kill me_ you crazy bastard!” 

“No…I _told_ you…you’re being attacked!”  Jace argued trying to overpower the warlock.

Magnus growled, casting a spell to burn the Nephilim which caused him to falter and Magnus got a punch in.  Seeing an opening Magnus then shoved to roll him off when Jace thrust back down, plunging the knife into his shoulder. 

Magnus screamed.  Jace’s eyes got big.  “Oh _shit_ …Magnus that was a total accident, I swear!”  He cried standing up to lean over his face.  “I only meant to beat you up a bit and give you a few cuts but…that really looks like it hurts.”  He pointed at the knife that stuck from his shoulder.  “Now I need you to do me a huge favor and don’t heal yourself until Alec gets here.” 

“ _I am going to kill you Nephilim_.”  Magnus growled, his fingers glowing a bright blue. 

“Damnit.”  Jace mumbled and punched the warlock in the face again then kicked him in the ribs a few times just to keep him down.  With a sigh he dialed Alec’s number.  “Alec, I need you to get to Magnus, he’s been attacked and needs help.” 

By the time Magnus rolled over Jace was gone.  He wasn’t sure how long he laid there letting his blood soak into his expensive rug before he heard footsteps running then pausing at the threshold of his home before moving over to where he was on the floor. 

“Magnus!”  It was his Alexander.  He skidded to a halt and leaned over him, gently placing a hand on his cheek.  “By the Angel, don’t move.”  He moved to get up but Magnus grabbed his arm stopping him.

“It’s okay.  He’s gone.” 

This caused Alec to kneel over him once again taking in his injuries.  “Who did this to you?” 

“A very disturbed man who I intend to torture indefinitely.” 

Alec paused over the knife and winced.  “Magnus, I’m sorry but this is going to hurt,” he warned before quickly pulling the knife from his arm, “a bit.” 

Magnus jerked forward and muffled his scream in Alec’s shoulder as the shadowhunter’s arms came around him tightly.  “I’ve got you.”  He murmured into Magnus’s hair.  “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you.” 

After a moment he pulled back to look into his eyes.  “It’s not your responsibility to protect me Alec.”

“Magnus, this is twice that you almost died and I couldn’t stop it.”  He shook his head, his blue eyes filled with pain.

“Death isn’t so bad, among other things.”  Magnus groaned as his skin slowly began to stich itself back together.

“Not so bad!  Magnus, you can’t die…you just...”  He paused moving the shirt to check the wound.  “I can’t live without you.”  He said quietly running his fingers over the now healed skin where the knife was.  His emotions were high and he squeezed Magnus’s hand a little too tightly.    

His heart twisted painfully.  Magnus closed his eyes and smiled.  With great restraint and several painful, bloody injuries, he managed to not tackle the shadowhunter to the ground with promises of forever and instead squeezed his hand back.  “Help me up?  I would like to make myself presentable.” 

Alec wrapped his arms around him and held him firmly against his chest.  “Can you walk?”

“Yes darling, no need for theatrics.  I’m healing quite nicely.” 

Alec loosened his arms allowing Magnus to walk next to him but still had his arm around his waist.  In the bedroom he slowly removed his shirt throwing it in the trash and with a snap, summoned a wet cloth to clean the blood from his chest.  He was almost fully healed and only a bit sore now, as Jace didn’t see fit to do any serious damage.  Alec never took his eyes off him as he called Jace to make sure he was alright.  Apparently he got good news because he looked relieved as he put the phone in his jacket pocket. 

“Jace is okay.  He went back to the institute to make sure the girls were alright.  What can I do?”  He asked standing to the side watching Magnus’s hand glide over his toned stomach removing any traces of blood. 

“You can get me a shirt if you like.” 

Alec walked to the closet and randomly pulled a t-shirt from the drawer they had deemed the ‘comfy drawer’ instead of picking a dressy one from a hanger above and strode back over to Magnus.  As he handed him the shirt his hand glanced over the place where the cut had been but now there was just smooth skin.  Magnus froze but allowed the touch, not wanting him to pull away and disappointed when he did. 

“I’m sure you want to get back.  I think I can make you a portal, it’s safer than walking.” 

“No.  I’m staying here.”  He said firmly making it obvious that he expected no argument from Magnus on the subject and began taking off his jacket and boots, placing them in the corner.  He left the room and Magnus could hear the door being shut and locked before he came back into the bedroom.  “Now, come here.” 

Magnus was thrilled when Alec gathered him in his arms and pulled him onto the bed, hugging him tightly against his chest. 

Alec pushed a bit of glittery hair back from his face and his eyes softened.  “You’re going to get some rest and when you wake up, we’re going to talk.”  Magnus sighed, not realizing just how exhausted he was, as Alec placed a single kiss to his head then burrowed into his chest to close his eyes.


	27. The Criminal

** Alec POV **

Magnus had been asleep for two hours now with Alec gently touching and kissing him while he dreamed.  Alexander Lightwood was in love with Magnus Bane.  There was no denying it anymore.  This was the one person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and he couldn’t wait for him to wake up so he could tell him.  Alec tightened his arms around the warlock and put his face in his hair breathing in the faint odor of sandalwood and vanilla.  The only thing that bothered him was that the phone had rang at least a dozen times since then but Alec kept ignoring it.  Eventually, worried it might be an emergency, his head won out over his heart and he gently untangled himself from his love and answered.

“Alec, are you okay?  I’ve been trying to call for a while.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.  What are you doing up?” 

It was Isabelle.  Last he’d heard they still needed a day or two before being allowed back.

“Well, there is a small problem at the institute and I’ve been feeling better so I figured I would get around, besides, I’m losing my mind lying in that bed all day.” 

Alec felt guilty all over again.  He felt incapable of protecting everyone.  Magnus gets hurt because he can’t save him and the moment he leaves the institute it gets attacked.  Something’s got to give. 

“I’ll be right there.” 

Hanging up, he looks over at Magnus but doesn’t have the heart to wake him.  Grabbing a piece of paper he scribbles something on it and lays it on the warlock’s phone and kisses him gently, tucking the covers over him before leaving. 

The walk is quick and he’s not expecting the scene he gets when he arrives.  Jace is standing outside on the steps and he and Jamie are in each other’s faces having a shouting match.  Raphael is standing to the side appearing more interested in his nails when he looks up to spot Alec and comes to greet him. 

“Amigo, I’m not sure if you’re lucky or cursed to have so many people who seek your affection,” Alec is shocked to see Raphael scan his body from head to toe before frowning heavily, “and honestly, I’m still not sure what the appeal is.”

Alec rolls his eyes.  “What the hell is going on here?” 

He says it loud enough that Raphael laughs when both Jace and Jamie turn at the sound of his voice then begin to walk over to him. 

Jamie shoves past Jace and grabs Alec pulling him into his arms kissing him soundly on the mouth, startling him.  Alec hadn’t expected this reaction and after spending time with Magnus, he’d realized he didn’t want this sort of attention from Jamie any longer.  He knew what he wanted and it was Magnus Bane.  Thankfully Jamie pulls back without Alec having to make him.

“ _Thank God_!  Alec what the hell?  I’ve been trying to call you for two days with no answer and when I come here to ask about you, I’m treated like a criminal.”  He glares back at Jace.

“That’s because you were skulking around the institute which is what a criminal would do.”  Jace accuses pointedly. 

“I wasn’t skulking, I was coming to see if Alec was here.”  Jamie protested.

“How was I supposed to know that?  It’s not like you knocked and I happen to find skulking to be very criminal-like behavior.” 

Alec knew Jace was taunting Jamie but he couldn’t help but be curious as to what Jamie’s answers would be.  Jamie also appeared to be losing his temper which was a side of him Alec had never seen before.

“I wasn’t _skulking_!  If you _Nephilim_ wouldn’t lie so much then we might not have to go behind your backs all the time!”  Jamie screamed flinging his arms wide with anger.

“Ha!  _CRIMINAL_!!”  Jace yelled stabbing a finger in his direction which caused Jamie to lunge at him. 

The two boys fell to the ground punching and grunting while Alec hopped about them trying to find an opening to pull them apart.  Alec yelled for Raphael to help and with a deep sigh, the vampire moved forward and reached down easily plucking Jamie up, holding him by his shirt collar.  Alec held Jace back by his shoulders and was thankful when Jace relented with a smile and a wink at Jamie which earned him a growl from the werewolf.

“Look…maybe,” he looked from Jace to Jamie, “maybe we should go somewhere and talk.”   

Jamie yanked his arm, shrugging Raphael’s grip from him then approached Alec reaching out to touch his cheek.  “Come with me back to the apartment?  I would really like some privacy.” 

Alec hesitated momentarily but nodded.  He turned back to Jace who looked up from his phone. 

“Is everything okay here?”

Jace nodded but looked disappointed.  “Yeah.  I’ve got it covered.” 

Alec nodded and turned back to Jamie who tried to take his hand but Alec put his hands in his pockets instead.  They walked slowly since the evening was nice.


	28. Visitors

** Magnus POV **

The incessant banging on the door had better be a dream he thought groggily as he sat up in bed.  His mood didn’t improve any when he noticed the other side of the bed was empty which was not how he’d left it.  Groaning, he slipped on a dark red silky robe and moved to answer the door, not at all surprised to find a pretty shadowhunter at his door.

“This had better be good.”  He moaned as she strutted in and made herself comfortable in his living room. 

“Alec’s with the werewolf.”  Isabelle announced like it was a death sentence. 

“But I don’t understand, why?  He was here with me.”  

“Jamie came to the institute and refused to leave until he could see Alec which set off Jace and they started fighting.  When Alec got there he broke it up and agreed to go to his apartment with Jamie and now I’m here telling you.”  She surmised quickly.  That was one thing Magnus liked about the lovely Lightwood, she knew how to get to the point.

“So how long has he been gone?”  Magnus asked, causally walking over to make himself a drink at the bar. 

“Not ten minutes.  Why?” 

Magnus spied and picked up the now dead rose that Alec had given him that day at the café and smiled then closed his eyes and chanted a few words.  When he was done he turned back to Isabelle who looked confused.

“Magnus, aren’t you going to do something, I don’t know like, get dressed and go after him?”

“I’ll not chase him Isabelle.  If Alec wants me he will come back to me.  I just have to show him how much I love him.”  He finished softly lifting his drink to his mouth. 

Isabelle walked over and put a hand over his in reassurance when there was another fit of banging at his door. 

“Why can’t you Nephilim knock softer?  You’d think my door was a punching bag.”  He grumbled walking over and swinging the door wide.  “ _You_.”  His cat eyes grew wide and he was practically growling.

Suddenly blue flares shot out of his hands hitting Jace right in the stomach sending the shadowhunter into the wall behind him.  Immediately he doubled over and groaned holding his stomach.

“By the Angel, what are you doing Magnus?!”  Isabelle reached up to snatch his hand before he could do more but Magnus managed to wiggle his fingers making Jace groan again.

“Trust me my dear, he deserves this one.”  He said and walked off to retrieve his drink.

She knelt down to check on Jace.  “What does he mean you deserve it?” 

Jace coughed and settled on his knees on the floor.  “Well…I might have accidentally stabbed him with a fairly large kitchen knife.” 

Isabelle looked back at Magnus with a wry expression.  “What are you doing to him?” 

“I made him pregnant with the most adorable baby mallard ducks.”  He smirked as Jace looked up at him wildly moaning a strangled cry that sounded in the negative.  Isabelle glared at him darkly and Magnus conceded.  “ _Oh alright_ , he isn’t pregnant, but I did give him the most horrible stomach pains imaginable.”  He sat his drink down and walked over to glare down at the Nephilim.  “Alec would never forgive me if I actually killed him.” 

“I know you want to do many unnatural things to me right now…but this may be a bad time since that ugly freak of a warlock…is outside your loft.”  Jace squeaked from his crouched position on the floor.  “No offence.” 

“None taken.”  He paused and he and Isabelle shared a worried glance. “I suppose it is time for me to get dressed.”  He said disappearing to his bedroom. 

Quickly he pulled on some clothes and snapped a rough application of make-up on when he caught sight of a note on his bedside table where his phone sat.  Picking it up he read the words and felt his heart swell. 

‘ _Aku cinta kamu Magnus Bane’_

Gently he folded the note and put it in his pocket thanking the Angels that Alec loved him and was far away from the danger that was now on Magnus’ doorstep.  


	29. Leaving You

** Alec POV     **

“I’m sorry Alec.  I was worried about you.  I couldn’t get ahold of you and when word got around that the Nephilim were being targeted by a rogue warlock, I started patrolling the areas hoping to see you.”  He jumped over a log and easily fell back into step next to Alec.  “I don’t know what your brother’s problem is, he seems to have a really horrible attitude toward downworlders.” 

“No, actually that’s how he treats everyone.”  Alec smiled shaking his head.  “He would probably take that as a compliment.” 

“I just mean he’s nothing like you.” 

They walked the rest of the way in silence, Jamie looking longingly at Alec but Alec didn’t notice as he kept walking. 

As they reached Alec’s apartment he saw a note on his door with a single red rose attached.  Pulling it off, he read it aloud. 

_‘How much you fill my heart’_

He twirled the rose in his hand with a small smile.  He fished his keys from his pocket and noticed Jamie giving him a strange look.  “You think it’s from your ex?”  He asks frowning.

“If it is, it’s a grand gesture.”  Alec said twirling it between his fingers. 

“I wouldn’t say grand.  It is only _one_ rose.” 

Alec didn’t reply because as soon as he opened the door hundreds of roses fell into the floor at their feet.  Both men looked up in awe at the room that was _completely_ _filled_ with roses.  Another note was stuck to the inside of the door that Alec reached for and again read aloud. 

 

_‘One million times over’_

 

“Holy shit.  How the hell did he get one million roses in here?”  Jamie blurted out moving back from the roses piling higher at his feet. 

“Magic.”  Alec answered with the biggest smile on his face.  

“Here, let’s use my room.  It’s less crowded.”  Jamie offered only a bit sarcastically, opening his door but pulling Alec in by his arm dragging him toward the bed.  “Have a seat.  What did you want to talk to me about?” 

Alec took a deep breath.  “Well, there’s a few things actually.”  He shifted nervously on the bed wondering for the life of him how to say this and not upset his friend.  “Jamie, I’ve decided to move back to the institute.”  Jamie raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything so Alec continued.  “I left so I could find myself, figure out what I wanted and what was most important to me.  I’ve realized that I need to be with my family, especially with everything that’s happened lately…I just,” Alec stood and put a hand on Jamie’s shoulder, “I’m sorry I can’t stay.” 

Jamie nodded solemnly.  “No, I get it.  Family is important.”  He then chuckled deeply shaking his head.  “I’m just glad it’s because of your family.  I mean, I thought you were going to tell me you were going back to your warlock ex-boyfriend.” 

Alec stilled suddenly and Jamie stared at him, trying to read his eyes just as Alec’s phone went off.  It was Isabelle.  _‘Need your help at Magnus’s.  Hurry!’_

“Shit.  I have to go.”  He said alarmingly.

“What is it?” 

“Emergency.  It’s Magnus.” 

Alec bolted out the door without looking back and was surprised to find Jamie next to him as he exited the building. 

“I’m coming with you.  Never know when you need back-up.” 

Alec didn’t argue.


	30. Dino

** Magnus POV **

Magnus walked out side by side with Isabelle and Jace, who he’d taken the spell off of but only for this particular event, and scanned the street.  It was completely empty.  Not even a mundane in sight which was strange.  His eyes did another once over before coming to rest on Jace.

“Is this your way of getting out of your punishment?” 

“It’s good to hear you punish your Nephilim from time to time Bane.  It would look awful bad if you were _their_ pet, running when they snapped their fingers.”  The voice carried over on the wind from across the street where the warlock sat on a bench. 

Isabelle grinned.  “Speaking of pets, I have a bowl and a collar with your name all over it.”

“It’s inscribed DINO.”  Jace chimed in.

The warlock smirked, standing to make his way across the street.  “I can see why you insist on punishing them.  Mouthy creatures.”

“Quite honestly, I’d really like to get this over with.  I’ve somewhere else I’d rather be at the moment Dino.”  Jace said pulling his seraph blade.

That action caused the other three to follow suit, Isabelle’s whip slinking over the ground and the warlocks magic glittering at their fingertips. 

“Come on Bane, put your Nephilim up and let’s dance, just you and me.” 

Magnus walked forward to meet the warlock in the street just as Alec and the werewolf came into view.  Magnus sighed.  So much for his shadowhunter staying out of danger.  Alec walked up and stopped next to him grasping his hand tightly then turned to the warlock. 

“He’s not fighting alone.  If you want him, you’ll have to go through me.”     

Magnus’s heart fluttered.  Oh how he loved his shadowhunter.  

The warlock ran his hand over his plated head and his eyes gleamed.  “Fair enough.  I’ll have my revenge regardless.”  He smiled at Alec which made Magnus’s skin prickle.  “Besides, you didn’t think I came alone did you?”  The warlock raised his hands and slowly and several demons began to emerge from the darkness.  Magnus took a step back against Alec as the sheer number of demons became apparent as they crept about, slowly surrounding them.

His mind wandered to the loft that was just behind them and he came up with a quick plan.  “You want to fight one on one?”  Magnus asked and the warlock nodded.

“Just you and me Bane.”  To prove his word he raised his hand again and the demons receded back a distance. 

Magnus raised his head in conformation and turned, pulling Alec with him to stand with Isabelle and Jace. 

“You all have to leave.”  Magnus commanded realizing it was a futile effort.

“Yeah right.  I’ve been itching to get my hands on this guy for a while.”  Jace said.

“And I want my revenge.”  Isabelle growled.

“And I won’t leave your side.”  Magnus looked at Alec and gave him a small smile. 

“You don’t understand, this won’t be a normal fight.  Warlocks fight with magic not weapons.  Neither of us will play fair and it won’t be pretty.  You’ll probably be more of a hindrance than a help.” 

When none of them backed down, not even the werewolf who was standing behind Alec fists clenched, Magnus knew what he had to do. 

“Alright…but let me create a barrier around you so you don’t accidentally get hit with a spell.” 

“Let’s get a move on Bane!”  The warlock yelled causing the demons to growl and gurgle from the shadows. 

Magnus pulled Alec away from the others momentarily.  Bright blue eyes stared back at him and he smiled.  “Alexander.  I need you to know that I’m sorry.  That I never wanted to hurt you.  You’re the most important thing in the world to me and once this is over, if you still want me, I want to spend every day of the rest of our lives proving how much you mean to me.”  He pulled the note out of his pocket and handed it to Alec.   “I love you, Alexander Lightwood.” 

Alec stared at the note then back at Magnus and his lips found Magnus’.  The kiss was slow and tender and filled with all the love and pain they shared combined.  Alec’s arms squeezed around him tightly and Magnus could feel his fingers dig into his back.  _This was it_ he thought, _this is my reason to live_.  Not really wanting to, Magnus pulled away and looked into those beautiful blue eyes one more time before moving back to the others. 

Everyone waited as Alec went to rejoin them.  With a sigh Magnus lowered his head and mumbled the containment spell to keep them in his loft, then waving his arms he created a portal behind them.  With a sad smile at Alec he mouthed the words ‘ _I’m sorry_ ’ before swinging his arms forward causing his magic to thrust them through the portal behind them forcefully.  With a snap of his fingers he closed the portal and turned back to the warlock.

“Come on, let’s get this over with then Dino.” 


	31. Real Magic

Magnus POV

Both warlocks stood for battle, Magnus whose golden cat eyes glowed while sparks of blue magic flitted over his hands and Dino, whose magic flared in spasms of red flames from his fingertips. 

“You really don’t know who I am do you?”  Magnus asked, curious if the warlock knew just what he was getting into.

“I know that you’re powerful enough to be the High Warlock.  I know that you killed the love of my life.”  Just then Alec, Isabelle, Jace and the werewolf stood at his balcony beating on the invisible wall trapping them, yelling down at him.  “I thought it would be in my best interest to return the favor.”  He smiled wickedly.

Magnus shot two glittery spikes from his hands which were deflected and countered with a large red ball that he had to roll to get away from.  Crouching down, he placed a hand on the ground sending a thin blue line across the pavement that connected with the warlock sending him flying back onto the ground.  Magnus was on him instantly hitting him with magical punches to the face but was flung back with a red blast to the chest.  Both warlocks stood back up glaring at each other.

“I took the time to learn some wonderful torture techniques to use on your Nephilim boyfriend.  It’s too bad you won’t be around to appreciate them.”  He laughed and Magnus growled throwing his hands to the heavens making fire rain down on the warlock burning his skin causing him to yell in pain. 

“Yet again, you assume you can hurt me or those close to me.”  Magnus chided.  “You’re using every arsenal in your power to defeat me but to me, these are just simple tricks.  So if we’re done playing, I’d like to use some _real_ magic.” 

Dino’s face contorted into a snarl and to Magnus’ surprise, his body changed, his arms and legs becoming longer with huge claws and his skin covered itself in bony plates like the ones over his head.  He resembled a human-like dinosaur monster. 

“Well that was unexpected.”  Magnus said tilting his head in wonder. 

“Is this what you call a simple trick Bane?”  His voice was deep and grainy and drool leaked from the side of his mouth around his now sharpened teeth.

“ _Absolutely not_!  That’s more like self-induced punishment.  I use my magic to look fabulous.”  He shook his head in disgust. 

Quickly the warlock shot out pinning Magnus to the street and slashing him across the chest.  Magnus hit him in the face then rolled over to straddle him and laid his hands on the warlock’s head shoving a deep pulse of magic through him causing him to still.  He took a few deep breaths and with a groan, he slowly stood up and pulled at his shirt that was ripped in shreds and covered in blood.  “At least it wasn’t one of my good ones.”  He grumbled idly. 

He chanced a look up at the balcony to reassure himself his friends were safe before looking back down to the warlock.  He laid on the ground, blood coming from his mouth and nose and his breathing ragged.  Though he looked close to death a deep laughter bubbled up from him.

“Did you really think I was going to let you win Bane?”  He raised his hand and the demons once again began to stalk from the dark.  “They will tear your limbs from your body one at a time and once you’re dead, your wards will fail and they will slowly destroy your Nephilim lover, but not before I have my way with him.” 

Loud shrieks filled the air as the demons closed in around him.  Magnus was at once grateful he’d sent the shadowhunters away because it was about to get bad.  He looked around him seeing at least a hundred demons of all types and sizes and with deep regret knew what he had to do.  He’d not given into his demonic side in centuries and the one time it did happen, he’d lost someone dear to him.  The fear that Alec would ever see him this way tore at his heart but right then, he had no other option.  There were too many demons and Dino was right, the moment he died his protection spell would fade leaving Alec vulnerable.    

Magnus closed his eyes and let it come.  It began with a feeling deep within his stomach, a sharp pain that tore through him and started to spread through his limbs.  The temperature suddenly dropped and a hazy mist formed around him.  The very air became dry and crackled with electricity and Magnus’ body vibrated slightly with energy.  He clenched his fists tightly causing blood to run from his palms and when he looked over to the warlock lying on the ground, his eyes were black and his smile maniacal.             


	32. Out Cold

** Alec POV **

It was hard to breathe.  Somehow everything around him felt wrong from the feeling of his own skin to the perfect view he had of the fight down below.  Magnus had met his gaze just for a moment but it terrified the shadowhunter that instead of seeing strength, he saw sorrow and pain.  Just as Alec was about to beg again that Magnus release his spell, the demons began to move in.  _No, no, no, no, no_ , he kept chanting in his mind as if it would change the events unfolding in front of him.  He beat his hands on the invisible barrier when Magnus put his head down in what looked like defeat. 

Suddenly it got cold, like really cold and the air felt different.  Isabelle, Jace and Jamie were talking but Alec ignored it, not taking his eyes off of Magnus.  What appeared to be an electric fog hung thick in the air and all the energy felt sucked from the room.  Alec all the sudden became weak, like when his body was being siphoned to help Magnus and right then he knew Magnus hadn’t given up, he was doing a spell.  But as Alec leaned limply against the barrier calling his name he realized something was off.  Magnus was different.  His magic always felt safe and warm whereas this, this felt dark and cold and dangerous.  Even the way he stood and held himself was all wrong.  With terrifying clarity he realized Magnus wasn’t himself anymore.     

Then everything became dark, like the lights going out in a room and he watched as Magnus did nothing more than snap his fingers and a giant wave of black smoky magic began rolling away from him, disintegrating everything in its path.  As the smoke moved away, bolts of lightning shot out of his body burning everything it touched with a dark raging fire.  A shrill cacophony of screams and screeches of demons vibrated loudly, causing everyone on the balcony to cover their ears and the smell of rotting flesh permeated the air making them gag.  Alec knew he was screaming Magnus’ name but couldn’t hear his own voice.  It seemed for a moment that Magnus heard him because he turned and looked up at the balcony, his eyes completely black and his face contorted in a ravenous rage.  He growled something and closed his eyes right before his body shuddered and a blast of energy shot out, collapsing him to the ground.

Alec heard a scream and didn’t realize it was his own until his hands fell through the barrier as it was released.  He quickly scrambled through the loft and sprinted down the stairs, bursting through the door onto the street.  Black ash fell from the sky like what Alec thought snow would be like in Hell because right now, seeing the man he loved lying lifeless on the ground, this was his own personal Hell.  Magnus _had_ to be alright.  He chanted the warlock’s name as he stood over him momentarily before kneeling down to touch his face, pulling back sharply when he was burnt. 

“Alec?  What happened?”  Isabelle asked kneeling next to her brother.

Alec shook his head rubbing his hand.  “His skin…it burned me.” 

“Well he seems to be breathing alright.  Maybe it’s some sort of protective side-effect, you know, so he can’t be harmed until he’s awake.”  Jace supplied trying to be helpful. 

“Well how are we supposed to help him if we can’t touch him?”  Isabelle worried aloud.

Jamie snickered.  “We can just leave him here.  He already did most of the work,” he looked around at the charred surroundings then back to Alec and shrugged carelessly, “it’s not like anything else is going to get him.” 

“Leave him here in the road, in the dark, all alone.”  Isabelle glared over at him.  “You know werewolf, you really are a piece of…”  She stopped mid-insult when Magnus suddenly shot up into a sitting position.  

Alec stayed kneeling next to Magnus watching him carefully.  Outward appearances he looked healthy with no visible injuries.  His eyes were back to their cat-like yellow-green color and his breathing was slow, like he’d been relaxing on the couch all day as if nothing had happened, but Alec felt something was still off.  Magnus didn’t turn or speak, he just sat staring ahead silently and there was a power radiating off of him that penetrated Alec to his bones and made his hair stand on end.  He’d heard of spells turning warlocks and their magic bad, turning them against the ones they loved.  This magic was different, it wasn’t good and for the first time ever, Alec was scared of Magnus.


	33. Sacrifice

Alec POV

He watched as Magnus seemed to come to and started looking around.  As if sensing he wasn’t alone he turned and looked at Alec. 

“Alexander?” 

Magnus scrunched up his face as if he were in pain and moved a hand to his forehead.  Alec desperately wanted to reach out, to hold him, but something held him back.  Uncertainty, fear and the nagging feeling of guilt rushed him all at once because as much as he wanted to go to Magnus he wanted to wait and be safe, for both of them.    

“I…I can’t…” he tried to speak again and with pleading eyes reached for Alec. 

His reflexes were that of a shadowhunters; quick, precise and deadly accurate.  Alec startled and fell backwards onto his butt just as Magnus’ hand reached for his face stopping inches from touching him.  Bright light lit up the night as seraph blades blazed to life behind him causing Magnus’ eyes to go black again.  His gaze moved from Alec to Jace who had inched just behind his parabatai ready to protect him. 

“Look…Magnus, I really don’t want to hurt you but you need to relax.  You’ve had a _really bad day_ and your magic is a bit finicky, which could hurt us…it could hurt Alec.”  Jace cautioned but didn’t leave his spot behind Alec. 

Magnus stood and faced Jace, his hands glimmering with blue flames.  Alec stood and backed up until his back connected with Jace’s chest and moved them away as Magnus advanced on them. 

“Guys, what do we do?”  Izzy hissed slapping her whip on the ground in panicked slashes.

“We protect ourselves!”  Jace declared hesitantly. 

“No, put your weapons away.  Nobody touches Magnus.”  Alec exclaimed throwing his arms wide trying to create a barrier between his family and Magnus.

Jamie moved next to Alec and gripped his arm tightly causing Magnus to growl low in his throat.  “ _Fuck this_!  Alec, you have to get out of here,” he demanded, shoving Alec behind him then began walking toward Magnus “I have a warlock to kill.” 

It all happened so fast that Alec could only watch with big eyes as Jamie walked to stand just in front of Magnus and with a smile and a wave of his hand, Magnus had the werewolf falling limply to the ground.  Alec was now shaking.  Never in his life had he imagined he would have to choose between his family and the man he loved.  He was scared, terrified that he would lose one or all of them.  Everything within him screamed for something to give, for Jace and Izzy to put up their weapons or for Magnus to snap out of whatever spell was controlling him, but neither happened and his siblings raised their weapons to strike as Magnus stepped over Jamie’s body to face them. 

That’s when it hit him.  He knew what he had to do.  He was a protector, it’s what he did, it’s who he was. 

“I need you to trust me.”  He said turning quickly to them.  “I can stop this…but I need you to run.”   

“Alec _NO_!”  Jace yelled reaching desperately for Alec who moved out of his reach.  

“Jace, we have to let him try.”  Izzy said, a sheen of tears glistened in her eyes.  “If anyone can get to Magnus it’s Alec.”  Grabbing Jace roughly by his shirt she pulled him away with a nod while Jace tried one more time to convince Alec otherwise. 

“Jace go.”  Alec said with a definite tone. 

Alec watched as they turned and disappeared behind the loft building before he faced Magnus.  Taking a shaky breath he moved forward, blue eyes meeting black.  With every step he took an invisible pressure squeezed at him making him taunt like a bow string about to snap.  The electricity was in the air again and his hairs were standing up on his arms but he continued forward, his eyes locked with Magnus’.  Once again he felt weak and was having trouble standing up straight as he took the last few steps towards his warlock.   

Faintly he heard voices behind him and realized that Jace and Izzy hadn’t left like he’d told them to.  Magnus waved a hand creating a sparkling barrier around them and moved to stand directly in front of Alec. 

“Magnus, _please_ …come back to me.”  Alec’s words felt strangled as his throat tightened.  He stumbled, catching himself on Magnus’ shoulder but it burned and he jerked back with a cry.  “Magnus.”  He said softly and pulled himself up to his full height.  He had to do this, it was the only way.  If he couldn’t save Magnus then he would die trying.  He didn’t want to live in a world without his warlock.  “You mean everything to me.”  He said, pouring every bit of his love and devotion into his words.  Then with the last of his energy he reached forward, ignoring the stinging pain of the burns and circled his arms around the warlock.  “ _I love you_.”  He declared as his lips descended.

Alec had never felt pain like this before.  It was as if his whole body was on fire.  The burn ran through his veins and centered in his stomach then moved to his chest where it felt ready to explode.  He didn’t feel Magnus’ arms clinging to him.  He didn’t hear his sibling’s screams behind the barrier.  He didn’t see the blue flames that erupted around him and Magus that were high enough to scorch the sky.  All he saw was a bright white as his legs finally gave way and he succumbed to unconsciousness.        


	34. Waking Up

** Magnus POV **

The sound of birds snapped him out of his trance.  He was standing in a cabin, more precisely the secluded cabin in the middle of the mountains he’d purchased several decades ago to ‘get away’.  The afternoon sun shone brightly in his eyes and he blinked rapidly, gradually regaining his senses.  The white light, it must have portaled him and… _Alec_ \- Immediately he panicked because there, hanging limply in his arms, was his Alexander. 

“ _No_.”  He whispered desperately laying the man on the Oriental rug beneath them.  “Please Alexander.  _Please be alright_!”   

Alec’s body was hot to the touch and bits of his pale skin was burnt raw where powerful magic had touched him.  He pressed lightly against Alec’s wrist and neck frantically checking for a pulse when he finally found one, but it was way too weak for the warlock’s piece of mind, so he raised his shaking hands over the Nephilim and let out a deep breath.  “Carefully.”  He commanded himself and allowed the slightest amount of magic to move over Alec.          

Magnus worked diligently over his lover healing every burn and giving him extra energy for his body to continue to function normally.  After what was only several minutes but seemed a lifetime, the shadowhunter moaned and opened his eyes.  “Magnus?”

“ _Yes_!  Thank God you’re alright.”  His heart felt ready to explode it was beating so fast.  Tears began streaming down his face and he laughed awkwardly moving to reach out but Alec’s twitch stopped him short from touching the Nephilim. 

“I…I thought I killed you.”  He said softly sitting back on his legs. 

Magnus noticed the way Alec tensed while he looked Magnus over.  It hurt to see Alec afraid of him but considering the circumstances, he completely understood.  “Alec, I promise, it’s me.”  He said quietly, hoping to reassure him.    

Alec still didn’t move but just laid on the floor as if he were waiting on something.  Magnus was scared and eager and hopeful all at once.  What if Alec didn’t want anything to do with him after this?  All he wanted to do was hold him, smother him in kisses and never let him go but he knew better than to spook a shadowhunter who was already on edge. 

“Alexander, I promise I won’t hurt you.  May I touch you?”  His voice sounded calm but his watery golden eyes pleaded with Alec’s blue ones, desperate for comfort and acceptance.    

Magnus didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he saw Alec nod and he released it.  Slowly he moved his hand over to graze Alec’s causing him to twitch but not pull back.  Twining their fingers together he watched the shadowhunter’s breaths speed up and he sat up grabbing Magnus’ face.  He was quickly enveloped in strong arms and a familiar scent, so familiar and sweet he buried his face in Alec’s neck and took a deep breath. 

After a moment he felt warm lips against his neck that made their way over his chin to his lips and he moaned as Alec devoured his mouth with hungry kisses.  Magnus’ fingers dug into Alec’s back to hold him in place trying desperately to pull him as close as possible, still somewhat worried the Nephilim would leave him.

Time crept slowly by as they sat on the floor not talking but holding, touching and kissing until the sun dipped to the horizon and the room was lit up in golden light.  For now this is all they needed, just the comfort of the other’s presence, knowing that they were safe.      

Alec eventually pulled back with a sigh.  “What the hell happened?” he asked kissing the knuckles of Magnus’ hand while pulling the warlock closer with the other, as if he were unwilling to lose any sort of contact.

Though he wanted to continue to stare into his lovers eyes all night, he knew explanations were needed. 

“What you saw Alexander, that was my demonic side, a gift from my father.”  Magnus frowned but watched Alec as he spoke.  “It is extremely dangerous.  It takes over, consumes you,” he broke off shaking his head not wanting to say too much.

“I didn’t know what to do.  I wanted to help you but...” Alec looked torn and Magnus cupped his cheek knowing exactly what emotions his Nephilim was experiencing.

“It’s alright to be afraid Alexander.”  Magnus knit his brow when Alec shook his head.  “That fear is what saved your life.”

Another beat of silence ensued where Alec sat thinking.  Magnus ran his fingers over his hunter’s knuckles waiting patiently.

“Did you know, I mean…could you see everything that was happening?”  Alec paused then quickly amended.  “I’m not blaming you, I’m just curious.”   

Magnus closed his eyes.  “Yes, very clearly actually, that’s what was so terrifying to me.”  He pulled away and stood running a hand through his horribly disheveled hair.  Alec followed suit and reached for his hand not willing to let go just yet.  “I’m so sorry.” His voice was unsteady with emotion and he took his hand from Alec’s to run it over his face. 

“Magnus it’s okay…”  Alec tried to reassure him but Magnus wasn’t having it and waved him away forcefully.

“No!  Alec, you don’t understand just how much danger you were in do you?” he snapped and stared in disbelief at Alec almost afraid to touch him for fear he might taint him.  “I _wanted_ you, and my magic,” he hesitated, searching Alec’s eyes, hoping he would understand, “it would’ve leveled the world to make sure I had you.”

“And I would’ve let it.”  Alec stated calmly.  


	35. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yet again, there will be mature content in this chapter. Smut and such. Thank you for reading!

**Magnus POV**

Magnus couldn’t move.  Alec just told him that he was willing to die for him, a warlock, a mere downworlder, and it made him sick to his stomach but he loved hearing it.  Hell, he wanted to hear him say it again because it meant that Alec loved him, truly loved him, and it was the most beautiful feeling in the world, but all too soon his bubble was burst.

“Jamie?” Alec asked hesitantly.

The question came out small and Magnus immediately felt guilt surge through him anew.  He shook his head in the negative and Alec realized that the werewolf hadn’t survived.  Seeing the pain in Alec’s eyes Magnus ran a hand through his hair and took a step back.  He had no idea what to do.  He opened his mouth to say something, to apologize, to beg forgiveness but Alec stopped him. 

“No…Magnus, it’s okay.”

“Alec, I’m sorry, I didn’t…I couldn’t…” Magnus fisted his hands in his hair hard.

Seeing the anguish in his lovers face almost broke him and Alec moved to gather Magnus in his arms, holding him tight against his chest.  They stood silent for a moment with Alec slowly running his hand up and down Magnus’ back.  “He was going to kill you.”  Alec stated.

“That’s no excuse.”  He argued into the shadowhunter’s neck but Alec pulled back holding his face between his hands so he could look into his eyes.

“Magnus, it was you or him, and I am _always_ going to choose you.”

Alec held his face and stared him down until he nodded then kissed his forehead and rested them together, their breaths mingling.  “I love you Magnus.”

“I love you Alec.  The only thing that held me together through all that, the only reason I didn’t let go, was because of you.”     

Alec leaned back and frowned.  “I was worried you wouldn’t come back.  How did you…?” 

“I know you’re searching for answers but I honestly don’t have any.  I’m not sure how to explain it, you just lose yourself...like being trapped inside your own body without any control and if you’re lucky enough, you have someone to pull you back.”  Squeezing his hand, Magnus smiled.  “I had you.”   

“So is it over?  It won’t happen again?” 

Magnus shook his head.  “No, I won’t go back to that side of myself again.  There’s still quite a bit of residual magic that has to be released though, which could take several days.”  He grumbled stepping away from the shadowhunter and, giving a brief demonstration, pushed his hand out to the side effectively blowing a hole through the wall near the ceiling. 

Alec’s eyes grew wide.  “You don’t say.” 

“I also say that you need to kiss me one more time so I can portal you back to the institute until it’s all gone.”  Magnus smirked reaching for Alec’s hand.

“No.  I’m staying here with you.” He argued but still took Magnus’ hand.

Magnus was taken aback.  He could tell by the look on the Nephilim’s face he was going to fight him on this but he was determined to win. 

“Alexander you can’t, it’s too dangerous.  My magic is built up so much that it’s ready to burst.”  He looked down at his own hand like it was a foreign creature ready to snap at him.  “I’m doing my best just keeping it at bay while you’re here.” 

“Then don’t.”  Alec snapped.  “Actually, I know of a great way to get some release.” 

Magnus was confused then shocked because Alec _never_ made sexual innuendos.  “Alec, are you saying what I think…I don’t,” he never got to finish his sentence because Alec’s arms swallowed him up, holding him tightly while his mouth descended on Magnus hungrily. 

It was complete madness as Alec pushed him up against the wall trapping his body flush against the shadowhunter.  Their mouths crashed together, sucking and exploring until they both had to come up for breath but that only spurred Alec to explore with his mouth and hands over the warm body he held captive.  Magnus was torn between pulling the Nephilim closer in his lust filled state and shoving him away out of fear and instead settled for fisting his hands against the wall. 

“ _Alexander_.”  He tried but the sound came out strangled and did no good.

Alec made quick work of Magnus’ shirt sending buttons flying and kissed a trail along his neck down his chest and over a pert brown nipple.  His tongue flicked over it causing Magnus to hiss and all the windows in the house to break at once.  The wonderful torture continued as a long hard thigh slid up between his legs and Magnus groaned causing the house to shake.

Magnus was panting heavily.  He had to make a decision and quick because he could no longer hold his magic in check and his body had responded greedily to the sexual onslaught brought on by Alec, who didn’t appear to be stopping. 

Alec griped Magnus almost painfully while still pinning him to the wall and growled.  “Magnus, I know this sounds crazy but…seeing you with all this power…I’ve never been so turned on.”  He nipped at Magnus’ neck and whispered in his ear.  “I want to fuck you so bad.” 

Those words sent Magnus over the edge.  All thought of sending the gorgeous Nephilim away disappeared and without realizing he’d used any magic, he felt the body of his now naked boyfriend lying under him on a large bed. 

With the last thread of sanity he had left Magnus raised up on his hands and began to chant a spell while Alec’s hands found their way to his cock and began pumping him slowly, his lips skipping over his neck.  Finishing with the spell his lips claimed Alec’s again and his hands roamed over the Nephilim greedily.  Alec rested his assault as Magnus’ lips began a downward descent over his chest and across his abs before taking the hunter’s cock into his mouth causing the Nephilim to moan loudly.   

“Magnus, please…now.”  Alec groaned pulling the warlock up while spreading his legs. 

Magnus reached down to prep him and smiled when Alec pulled up to kiss him pulling him to lay on top of him. 

“Alexander?”  Magnus asked.

“Yes Magnus, please.”  Alec demanded and he threw his head back as Magnus slid inside of him.

His thrusts started out slow with gentle kisses but all too soon Alec began thrusting upwards, his fingers digging into Magnus’ ass pulling him harder against him.  The wind began to pick up inside the cottage and Magnus felt a tingling deep inside his belly that spread through his arms and sparkled like glitter over Alec making him cry out.  Magnus knew he wasn’t going to last long so he moved his hands and lifted Alec just right, making the man cry out with every thrust.  Thunder clapped outside and Magnus shuddered, his release so close.  Alec began stroking himself quickly and with a sharp inhale, his back arched and a moan of Magnus’ name tore from his body as he climaxed.  That sound coupled with the tightening of Alec’s body around him was Magnus’ undoing.  Pumping rapidly he shuddered and fell over Alec, his fists clenching the sheets as he came.  With sharp cries he pumped one, two, three more times into the willing body beneath him and each time a shock-wave exploded from his body shattering everything in the room.

Magnus was hoarse from overexertion and gently curled up against Alec holding him tightly.  Neither moved for a while, just lying in the other’s arms listening to the storm outside until their breathing slowed.

“Magnus?” 

“Alexander?” 

Alec smiled brightly.  “What were you saying, right before we…” he left off with a flush and snuggled further into the warlock.

“I don’t know what you mean love.”

“You were chanting something.”  Alec supplied.

“Ah.  It was a protection spell.”  He cupped Alec’s cheek looking deep into his eyes.  “I couldn’t let anything happen to you.  I didn’t want to hurt you.  I couldn’t live with myself if anything…”

“Magnus, I’m fine.  And you’re fine.  And I love you.”

“I love you too Alexander.”

Alec cleared his throat and shifted awkwardly.  “So…I was really hoping we could…I don’t know, start seeing each other again.  I mean, I really want to be with you…if you want to…It’s just I really missed you and don’t want to be away from you like, ever again.  I want to go home with you to your loft and sleep with you every night and wake up with you every morning and hear your voice every day and kiss you for the rest of my life.”  He stopped to take a breath then stared at Magnus before asking softly.  “Is that alright?”   

Magnus smiled at his stuttering, lovable Nephilim and nodded in agreement.  “I couldn’t have said it any better love.” 


End file.
